Wednesday, December 28, 2005

NO EFFIN WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's fate I tell you!!!!!



Your celebrity match is Adrian Brody. You like your men passionate and spontaneous.

QuizGalaxy.com

Take'>http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=67">Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Because I'm a dumbass....

The other night at work I fell.....
Because I was jumping around and caught my foot in the trash can while I was acting like a dumbass.
For those of you who watch Mad TV, you know Stuart. He's a "special" little boy who likes to say "Nooooooo! Let me do it!! in a Satan voice AND show people what he can do ( which is a special little sezure type jump that you have to see in order for what I'm talking about to make any sence whatsoever)
So, me, being the idiot that I am, decided to pull a funny and do my Stuart impression at 2am.
And I didn't have shoes on cause I was showing off my new toe socks.....
I did a little jump

On the way down I caught my pinky toe on the corner of the trash can and went down...
I'm such a idiot.

It was really funny though..........




Who would argue?

Let me just say Christmas was awesome.
15 pairs of toe socks ( for those of you who don't know - I'm obsessed), 3 chia pets and a iPod.
Lots of other cool stuff.......... ( I gave Randy and his Mom the flu I had last week)
As always, our parents out did themselves..........
But by far THIS is the best present I ( Ok we ) was got this year.

For my Brother..............

I love you. Christmas is never the same without you here............


Here I am again,
Overwhelming feelings
A thousand miles away
From your ocean home
Part of me is near
Thoughts of what we were invade
The miles that stand between
We can't separate
Your all I hoped you'd become
Sister I see you
Dancing on the stageOf memory
Sister I miss you

Fleeting visits pass
Still they satisfy
Reminders of the next
Overshadow goodbye
Our flames burn as one
Sister I see you
Dancing on the stage
Of memory
Sister I miss you
All I am begins with you
Thoughts of hope understood
Half of me breathes in you
Thoughts of love remain true

Here we are again saying goodbye
Still we fall asleep underneath the same sky
You're all I knew you'd become
Sister I see youDancing on the stage
Of memory
Sister I miss you

Entwined, you and I
Our souls speak from across the miles
Intertwined, you and I
Our blood flows from the same inside

Half of me, breathes in you
Thoughts of love remain true
I see you, I feel you
When I close my eyes
I see walking there...I see you dancing in my mind

The Nixsons - Sister

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah

I don't know if I'll have a chance to post again before Christmas, so Happy Everything, people.

 border=

Procrastination....It's whats for lunch...

See, I don't post for like a week and then I can't stop. My issues is that I just really don't feel like cleaning. AND I know that my handsome hubby is on his way home and I'm gonna make his bitch ass help me:o)
So, I will sit here and waste time.

HI! HOW YA DOIN?

HEY, I did clean the bathroom, hang up a new shower curtain and wrap Randy's Christmas presents, so bite me.

=


Did I mention that Grace now has the words "Hooker" and "beyotch" in her vocabulary?
See??!! She really does listen to me when I'm on the phone.
Damnit.
Feel free to send hate mail now.
Besides, she only says them to my sister, who is the one I was saying them to in the 1st place ( as a joke, people).
Yet another fine example of my excellent mothering skills.

I would like to blame it on Dora, but I can't. Boots either ( even though he's still a bitch)
I'm taking aim at a new target.
A new Satan.
No, not Britney's kid
The Doodlebops.
Errrrr.

And whats worse? They hand out with Bus driver Bob.
He has a BLENDER RIGHT FRIGGIN NEXT TO HIS STEERING WHEEL!!!!!

Where do they come up with this stuff?
Seriously??!

Remind me to ask my Mom.....

I wonder if this is what I looked like as a child while on suger?




Too bad they didn't have Ritlan laced Kool-aid for my fat ass back then....

Faith


The baby had her 6 month Dr's appt. yesterday. Good thing since she'll be 7 months on the 30th. She weighed 15 and a half pounds and was75% in her height ( I can't tell you the number cause I'm a bad mom). Randy took her cause I still felt like poop and didn't want to expose a waiting room of kids to what I had,
My kid is a rock star!

Too much information - You've been warned

I've had the stomach flu and it sucked big time. I even called into work, which I haven't done in forever. But there was no way I could go in there with the gut rot that I had going on. Now, I'm naturally a gas-y girl, BUT GOOD GOD!
I've never before prayed for solid poop like I did over the last 3 days.......
I would have taken puking over what I had anyday, but that only lasted 12 hours.
I feel better now, though.
Just in time to clean the house before Mom#2 ( Randy's mommy) gets into town.
WOOOHOOOO

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Finally............

I'm 27 years old, a wife and a mother.

BUT I will swear on anything that I got the coolest present tonight from my friend, Crystal the hottie.

Laugh if you will, but I've wanted one of these bad boys forever!!!!!!!!

Bah Humbug




Not so much about having Christmas pictures taken. Too bad since they're so damn cute.

"A-S-S-H-O-L-E"

I love Christmas time. I really do. Even more so know that I have kids. One of my favorite things has always been our family x-mas party on my mom's side of the family. She's one of 7, so as you can imagine, it's a ton of people once you throw in everyone's kids and now grandkids.

But this yr kinda sucked. Well, maybe it just sucked cause I felt like a big asshole for not knowing what the hell was going on in my own family. They may be extended, but still, it's family, ya know?

One Aunt had Major surgery and has been really sick - I had no clue.

One cousin is pregnant and having a little girl in a few months

A few cousins weren't there and I haven't seen them in like 2 yrs.

Ever feel like a big asshole?

Honestly, You haven't lived life until you've had bananna peppers come out your nose.

I puked my guts out tonight at work.
It sucked.

I had Subway for dinner.

I've learned that I really need to chew my food better.

You're all welcome

Saturday, December 17, 2005

... And the Cheese Stands alone

Yesterday everyone in Randy's department got laid off......except him.
What a crappy time of year to get laid off.....

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Blah


After a bunch of emails of people wondering where I am - Here I am. I don't mean to neglect you, but I had a really bad week last week and I didn't feel like writing about it because, apparently, if I feel stressed out and write about it, some people take that as I'm ungrateful for my home and family and friends.
And by the way, I'm not - I'm HUMAN and I have bad days like everyone else. I love my husband and our children with everything that I am.I love my friends. AND if I vent in my blog, well, tough shit. It's MY FUCKING BLOG, WISHYOUWEREME, so suck my ass and go focus on your life. Don't come back.

Awwww, much better now. So I moved to my new job in my company. Not so bad kids, not so bad at all. Damn K for being right about liking it. I put on my "big girl panties" like my friend Mary likes to say, and it's all good.

I broke 2 teeth last week and they aren't fixed yet, but not from lack of trying. I sat in the dentist office today from 11:30am until 2:15pm for a CONSULT.
Nothing got fixed - I'm still in pain.
(Please feel free to take that complaining as I'm ungrateful for my life)

I did have a kickass going away party on Friday, where I was VERY intoxicated.
I will leave you with the pictures now on flicker
This is my "replacement" at work, Crystal. I just love her!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Have I mentioned?

I've been really spoiled. Lately, things have been shitty. I won't go into it, but they really have been.
But that's life, right?

My Superman husband has been letting me sleep he's been up at all hours of the night taking care of the teething 6 month old.


I love that man!!!!!!

MISSING

If someone knows where Amy went, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
I'm Worried and My emails have gotten no response!!!!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Dispatch, passing the torch, and the missing panties..........

So, I have a got a new job.
Same Company.
Doing Helicopter Dispatch.
It all scares me a little. That's like a hella lot of responsibility.

I'm lucky if I know where my kids are.
I constantly lose my keys!!!
But I'm gonna try it. I don't want to regret NOT trying it.
I just had to get over my hissy fit about not wanting to leave my shift.

I just love them all so much!
My Going away party is next Friday. WoooooHooooo!
Wanna know what's even better? Randy's Christmas party is that afternoon and that means lots of Pre-drinking.
I will be in rare form.
Now to find a babysitter ( Hey, Mom and Dad..... I love YOU......)

Then to top the cake, my replacement is TOTALLY KICK ASS.
I adore her! She is so very awesome ( and beautiful). Which on one hand is great. She's gonna do well and I don't worry about passing the torch anymore.
On the other hand it sucks cause I'm going to the other night shift. Which means we'll never have the same nights off.

I guess we'll figure out something.

So, I got back on the WW wagon tomorrow after almost 2 weeks off.
Ick.
I don't want to, but it needs to be done.
Jello, here I come :o(

So can I tell you all that I bought a bunch of cute new panties and now they're MIA?
My mother in law says we didn't leave them there, but they weren't in our suitcase when we got home.
So, If anyone sees any cute panties that have grown legs and are walking around the Palestine, TX area, would you tell those bastards to COME BACK HOME!!!
Momma misses them.

Monday, November 28, 2005

5 days and 50 pounds

So, I found that I can eat my own weight in Green sauce, guacamole, and just regular Tex-Mex.
I've drank so much REGULAR Dr. Pepper and Sweet Tea that my Teeth hurt. I think I gained back all 50 pounds.
Oh, well - My attitude has been adjusted so it was worth it.
Here's what I say: Fuck it!
You don't like me or some of the choices I've made
Fuck You.
You walk in my shoes then run your mouth.
And that is that.
Thank you, Texas and the Foo Fighters for the adjustment.
* My husband just called and said that I sounded pissed in this post. And I'm not. I've just realized that I have to be the one who changes. I can't be responsible for everyone else and I can't let what people say or think about me have so much control over my life.
The changes have to come from me.


I found that my 2 year old IS the leader of the Bad ass KiDs BuNcH AKA her Texas Bad Ass little cousins. They literally bow to her.
Sad, really.

However, My children were Angels on the way there and the way home.

We also found a house that WE BOTH fell in love with. I'd like to show you pictures, but I'm sure that it's illegal in some way shape or form. 4 BR, 2 Bath. HUGE DRINKING DECK!
MASSIVE!!!


And because I'm cool like that, The neighbor came over and was talking to us ( She was V cool and had little kids too)) and told us to try the doors cause someone was in the house earlier today ( yes, it's vacant).
And I did.
And The back door popped open.
It's AWESOME.

Ahhhhhhhhh, So Yeah, I'm back home now. The Christmas stuff is up.
And I'm pretty f'ing sure I'll end up killing 3 cats before the tree comes down ( or they knock it down)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Finally.............





Today is the day!!! THANK YOU JESUS, WE'RE LEAVING FOR TEXAS IN 7 HOURS!!!
The high on Thanksgiving is supposed to be 80. WOOHOOOO!
We'll be back Sunday afternoon and hopfully have time to put up all the Christman stuff. I watched Christmas with the Kranks the other night and thats I'll I've wanted to do ever since, but decided to wait until we got back because I know my cats and the tree wouldn't be standing when we got back.

Soooo, goodbye, for now my internets. I love you and hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving. I will leave you with this Screwed up( and a bit long, BUT VERY FUNNY AND FUC*ED UP) X-Mas Video.

Annie Out ;o)

2 years and 25 pounds ago...........








I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Friday, November 18, 2005

Blah...

My Husband said I should post.

I have nothing to write about.

I could tell you all I'm riding the cotton Camel right now, but I suppose that isn't surprising to find out after my last post. But remember - Thats a good thing for me.
Except this month has been horrid! I've felt like CRAP for almost a little over a week.
My hormones have been ALL OVER THE PLACE.
I can't sleep.
I think I might need crazy drugs.
That depresses me even more.


It's my weekend to work.
So here I am.

Tuesday can't come soon enough.
BTW- That's also our Wedding anniversary.

And we're spending it in a car.

I think we're going to go out to dinner while we're in Texas.
Which is TOTALLY fine with me, because I NEED Tex-Mex right now like you wouldn't believe.

Somehow, I've managed to lose another 6 pounds in the last week.
Which is REALLLY funny because I've had 2 Cracker Barrel salad's ( yeah, it may be a salad, but it's like 2,000 calories)

And Taco Bell

And I had McDonald's today.

Oink Oink.



And I'm still a bad person because I haven't called anyone back this week. No offence guys, I didn't check my voicemail until today and I just don't feel like talking to anyone.
I'm just in a mood.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

BREAKDOWN

I've been thinking a lot lately about things and people in my life. And to be completely honest - I think it's kinda a train wreck.

For the last hour or so I've been tossing and turning in bed and finally decided I had enough. I'm hope that if I vent here for a bit I'll feel better and might be able to get some sleep.

Here I go:

I don't think I like me very much anymore. And I'm not just talking about my appearance. It's so much more than that. I used to think that I was a good person with a good heart.

Not like totally outstanding or anything, but good.
I really just don't feel like that anymore.

My issue is that I let other people have too much control in my life. Now, this is something that I already knew and had known for my whole entire life.
Then someone pointed it out to me the other night and I was actually kinda hurt. Not because someone else noticed it, but because they had to point it out. EVERYONE IS A FUCKING CRITIC - me included. I abso-fucking-lutly hate it.
One of my major issues has always been worrying what other people think of me. I don't know why. I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS think someone is mad at me or doesn't like me anymore. It's all very high school. I mean, for the love of God, I started a new blog where I could just go vent and not have to worry about who I knew that was reading it and talking shit about me over dinner.

I also have a really hard time telling people that they've hurt my feelings.
Recently some things have happened (that I'm not going to get into here) and I was talking about it with another person and they looked me straight in the eye and said " You did nothing to detour this", which I took as " This is all your fault you fucking idiot". And I actually thought it was a mean comment. I'm the kinda person that has a hard time hurting people's feelings on purpose and I guess I need to work on that. Maybe I didn't do anything to "detour" the situation, Hell, I bet I probably encouraged it without meaning to as well .

I'M HUMAN - I SCREW UP EVERY NOW AND THEN. I'M NOT PERFECT AND I DON'T HAVE AN EXCUSE.
AGAIN, EVERYONE IS A CRITIC!
Do I think I handled the situation poorly - YES, but I can't go back and change it. BUT HEY! THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT!!

I've been pissed at so many people for so long that it's honestly rediculous.
I'm constantly pissed at this troll at work for running it's mouth about me, but then I turn around and do the SAME DAMN THING to it.

I have "friends" I avoid because, well, I don't think that they're good friends and I can't be honest with them.

Ever feel like you're just a pile of shit?
Ever want to run away and start over where no one knows you?


Moving to Texas has been brought up again and you know what - WHY THE HELL NOT?

The only thing keeping me here is my family. But if I look back in 30 years and say " Yeah, I wish I would have just tried it" I'll regret it.

Really, all I want to do is just be a better person. And as I sit here and cry while I type this I guess I didn't think I was this bad of a person until now, but it's all just been building up.

Why do I let people make me feel like shit?
I want to be that pretty, funny girl that everyone likes, but I just don't know if it's in the cards.
At least not here in Omaha/ Council Bluffs.

I don't want to win a Nobel Peace prize or anything, I just want to be a decent person.

I guess more than anything, I just wanted everyone ELSE to think I was a decent peron too.





I'm not trying to have my own little pitty party here, but I guess thats what it turned out to be.

Monday, November 14, 2005

It sucks to be me

I had about 10 billion things to do this weekend and I didn't do any of them.
I spent most of my weekend in bed. Somehow I managed to screw up my back so bad it hurt to even stand up.
I feel better today so I guess I'll go to work.

Last week was so stressful I can't even begin to tell you....
I haven't started looking for a job yet ( one of those things I was supposed to do this weekend) and I should probably get on that.
My friend Mark said I can't be a fat girl stripper because I'm not fat.
HA!
I love him, but he has no idea what's under my clothes........
AND I also went on a comfort food diet that included Taco Bell and Subway over the last week.
However that's all come to an end, because in 8 days I've leaving for Texas and the last time they saw me I weighted 252.
Seriously.
I've lost a ton of weight, sure, but I don't want them to look at me and think" good, God she has really let herself go"
Yes, I worry about that.

And I also saw my brother that I haven't seen in like 4 months and he didn't mention anything about me looking different so BACK ON THE WW WAGON I GO!

Hi ho hi ho, no more to Taco Bell I go.........

Hey Does anybody remember the South Park where Jennifer Lopez was on Cartman's hand and she sang the " Taco Taco" Song???!?!?!?!

I swear that the new commercial for the baby bratz crib is the same song - different words!!

Anybody?!?!?!?!?!?!..........

Ok, nevermind.....
I gotta go clean the bathroom.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

"Hey Fat Girl, Come here, are you ticklish".....Yeah I called you fat - look at me.... I'm a fatass too but I know what it is I can get away with

Muffin Tops : The new American Epidemic



People we're in a crisis and we don't even know it.

SERIOUSLY

It's called Muffin Tops.

And they're everywhere you look.

Now, I knew about this epidemic long before I knew it had a name. It's everywhere.

It's Muffin Top

It's disgusting.

Ladies, please, Please PLEASE know what the difference is when wearing a pair of jeans that fit and wearing a pair of jeans that fit well.

Just because they zip doesn't mean you should wear them in public.....and a little mid drift shirt to top it off

SERIOUSLY

STOP IT

Again, I'm not dead....

I just got nothin' kids.
Nothing.
My whole house is sick and I'm sure I'll be joining them very soon.
I did find out that I'm losing my job in a few weeks.
They have a no nepotism rule and my Crazy Aunt just landed supervisor.
I'm proud of her- she kicks ass.

But it kinda sucks to be me

They did offer me the day shift, but theres no way I could work from 6am-6pm.

We do have a different department thats hiring, but it's different hours and less money.
They work like 6 days in a row.
Ick.

Soooo, after talking it over with Randy, We've decided I'm going to be a fat girl stripper at night and work at Subway during the day.
My stage name will be Sin-dy
Sin-dy, the Council Bluffs scrapper, Super striper by night and sandwich artist during the day.

I wonder how much I'll rake in!?!?!

If all else fails, Randy said I can be a "fluffer"

If you don't know what a fluffer is, shoot me an email and I'll let you in on it ;0)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I love me some zombie


Me and Justin............. I couldn't stand too close to him The rest of the pic's are on flicker...... too many to post :o)

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Council Bluffs: The Home of the black squirrel, the fat girl, and the $50.00 car.....and now liquor store shoot-outs

Just wanted to drop by real quick and let you all know that I'm serious when I say I want to move back to Omaha...............ASAP!!

This happened about 2 miles away........

Thursday, October 27, 2005

No, I'm not dead, but Justin is........

HELLO!
No, I'm not dead.
The internet connection at home is still acting up and it starting to really piss me off.
They came out and " fixed" it last week, but now it just sucks even more.

Asshats.

They better figure out what the hell the issue is before I start on line classes.


So, The Party is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!

I'm so fricken excited.
The pictures will be interesting, I PROMISE.

Still not sure about that whole dress thing.
We'll see.

However, my friend Justin informed me tonight he was going to be a zombie.

He's SOOOO Very luck that I love his wife as much as I do.

Make sure to check back Sunday............................... :o)

Friday, October 21, 2005

And the countdown has started....

Please do not be confused by my earlier post about the Halloween party next Saturday.
Because I DO WANT go to the Party.
I'm just bummed that I'm missing the Bowling for Soup concert.
I'll get over it.
I MIGHT stand in the parking lot and sing "Ohio(COME BACK TO TEXAS)", but I'll get over it.

***BTW I LOVE that Song b/c: a)Randy is from Texas. b.) It's true about the Mexican Food
c.) It metions BLUE BELL ICE CREAM. We don't have that here in the Midwest. It's like crack



I think the party will kick ass for the following reasons:

Jenna and Justin will be there. And I swear if Justin Gives me shit about this one more time...........
Well, I don't know what I'll do, but I just watched this and had the holy piss scared outta me, so it won't take to much..


Randy, of course, will be there in his French Maid outfit ( don't worry , I'll have ton of pic's)


And My sis will be there too if she feels better - She had her wisdom teeth out today :o(


And a majority of my other friends will be there as well. WOOOOHOOOO

So will Captain Morgan.

And Bud Light.

And Shot Specials!!!

I'm getting excited :o)

Kids are hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa overnight.
And since my parents live up the street, we'll be passing out there as well.

Life is good, my friends

FYI - My costume is a dress.
Anyone that knows me knows that I haven't worn a dress since I got married.
I might even take a picture of that too.


Any Omaha People who want to come - The Spotlight Club, 120th and Blondo, 7pm - 1am

Good Fun, People.
Good Fun

You Must Believe! Give it a try at Degrassi High!!!!!!

So, I've become addicted to watching Degrassi, Old School at night.
Sad, I know.
Whats worse? I remember watching it when it wasn't so "Old School" and I thought it was cool.
I couldn't wait to get into High School.

Why the hell I would ever think that a show where some of the main characters had names like Spike, Snake, and Cockroach was ever a good idea? I have nooooooo clue!

Does anyone else remember when Spike got pregnant at 16.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
That was a BIG DEAL!
By the time I was a Senior in High Schoo,l 2 of my friends had children. One friend put her son up for adoption and the other got married right after graduation. It was so bad in the rest of the school by then that we joked about having a pregnant husky ( Northwest Huskies!!!) on the cover of the year book.

AND I HUNG OUT WITH THE " GOOD" KIDS.
Meaning, I was friends with everyone. I liked everybody for the most part, but I knew who to not go hang out with on Saturday night.

So, last night, into about 13 minutes into an episode, I turned the TV off and told Randy that I hope he didn't mind.
He said " Well, I was hoping to see how the Semi Formal dance went, but if you must......."

I couldn't stop laughing.
And YES, he was joking.

BTW, he brought me home flowers last night for no reason.
Somedays, He's a very good egg :o)

Sooooo, you guys have a good weekend. I'll be at work, but that's ok.
I love my co-workers.


Annie Out !

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

YO, BITCHES !

Please make sure that IF you want the link to the NEW NAUGTHY CORNER BLOG that you EMAIL me so I know where to send it. I'm not really comfortable posting it to anyones comments yet and some of your email addresses can't be found on your blogs(Cari, Jen).
I love you and I'm not leaving you out.
Again as a reminder : Please do not blogroll the new site. Not yet, anyway ;O)

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I'm SOOOOOOO excited for the new seasons of South Park and Drawn Together to start tomorrow night.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!!

New York, New York!!!!!!!!!!

Here's the deal-
My weight -
It hasn't moved in 2 weeks.
Sooooo, instead of getting pissed off, I've decided that I'm moving to New York.

They have Fat-Girl Strip clubs there.
AND MEN ACTUALLY PAY TO GET IN!!!!
I'm gonna order this and get to work.

My stage name will be " Sin-dy''

Maybe Mr Brody will come in and fall in love with me.

A girl can hope..............................


FYI: I started a new blog where I can bitch about what I want. IF you want the address AND you don't know me, drop me an email.

Monday, October 17, 2005

FYI

I'm totally contemplating going to a Bowling for Soup concert, instead of the Halloween Party I'm supposed to go to.

I know I'm going to the party. :o(
*************************************************************************************
For the 1st time EVER in my life I had long REAL pretty nails.
I had to cut them off cause I couldn't get my contacts out of my eyes.

*************************************************************************************
We went to the pumpkin patch yesterday and it was so frickin busy that I think we might go to another one before Halloween.
My SIL thought we should go during the week.......I think she was right.

*************************************************************************************

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda..................

I'm thinking about moving my blog, fokes. Let me tell you why - I can't write about what I want to anymore without wondering who in my real life is gonna get pissed. If I would've know then what I know now.

K is a smart, SMART woman.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

MOM - JOB DESCRIPTIONThis is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!!!!


POSITION :Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass youPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.WAGES AND COMPENSATION:Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.


BENEFITS:While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Monday, October 10, 2005

A Loaded God Complex Cock it and Pull it

This song has been stuck in my head since Friday.
It's killing me


Whats even worse is that I caught myself singing this OUTLOUND to my 2 year old when we were leaving the grocery store tonight.

* Hangs head*
It's so sad.....................

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Maybe next time, Nicky

Guess who is coming to town?
Besides Santa Clause, you smartasses.............

Nicholas Sparks, my most favoritest author in the whole wide universe.
Yes, I read - shut up.
Some of you might know him for some of his books that have been turned into movies, like
The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, and Message in a Bottle

Now, don't get me wrong - the movies are good.
Great, even.
BUT the books are SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!
Really, they are.
(FYI- anybody who liked the movie The Notebook really should read the book because the ending is different)

If I had to pick a fav, it would be either
The Wedding, which is actually the follow up to The Notebook, or The Rescue.

Anyway, there is a luncheon next Friday where he will be speaking. Tickets are $50.00.

$35.00 of which is tax deductible.

Guess who can't go?
Thats right - ME.
You guys are so smart.

So, If I love this man's books so much, why can't I go?
Let me tell you why.
Because Council Bluffs, Iowa sucks my ass!
We have new Red light camera's.
I got 2 tickets WITHIN A MINUTE OF EACHOTER!!!!!!
In my husband's car ( hehehehe).
It doens't go against your driving record, but you get to pay a fine.
I was caught going though a yellow that turned red when I was almost though the intersection.
Fine.
I"ll take that one for the team. I did go through a yellow.
What-the-fuck-ever.
THEN I was ticketed for failure to use turn signal. Which is funny because they send you the ticket in the mail with a picture of what you did to get the ticket and I was in the same lane in both pictures for that ticket. I WAS NOT CHANGING LANES OR TURNING!!!!!!!!!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I thought about actually fighting that one, but you still have to pay a $50.00 court fee.
I might as well save myself the time and pay the $65.00 ticket.

So add it up:
$65.00 + $65.00 = It sucks to be me and see ya next time 'round, Nicky.

I'm living on a buget and I just blew my spending money.
:o( :o( :o( :o( :o( :o( :o( :0(

Have I ever mentioned I can't wait to move back to Omaha?


Friday, October 07, 2005

Not much to say

Have I ever mentioned how much I love my brother?


You all need to watch this

Thursday, October 06, 2005

What a Dumbass!!!!

I enjoyed this so very much.
Make sure your speakers are on so you can hear this idiot soccer mom.
It couldn't just end with Brit-Brit, could it?
More Crazy people coming into the world

Best Friends Forever - Handle with care

While at my parents house last weekend I decided to go though whatever crap it was that I still had there. I found all of my journals from 15-18.
Interesting.
I waited until the girls were napping and I sat down to read them.
How sad.
You know what I wrote about?
Boys.
Thats about it.
Boys and my 2 best friends (BFF!) at the time.
Seriously, I had co-dependency issues-I probably did until right before I started dating Randy.
Because when we started dating, I didn't want a boyfriend. More than anything I wanted to be alone.
But it was Randy.
Not only had we been friends for 5 years, it was well known that I still had a crush on him, carried on from the first time we dated 4 yrs beforehand.
I thought it was safe and so it began.
I can't even tell you all how long I slept in his bed before we actually "did the deed".
A long while.
Alright, I suppose that a few months isn't really that long, but when you're at the bar and had a FEW drinks (Randy was DJ-ing), a few nights a week -a few months is a VERY LONG TIME.

Anyways, I got off topic again - So I'm finishing my last journal and I see something written a few pages back and it's not in my hand writing.
It was a letter from one of my BFF, written in Feb. of 2000.
It was one of the nicest letters I've ever read. She told me that I was " such a good person and that everyone I come in contact with sees that" and went on to say how I didn't always need a man in my life and how I shouldn't sell myself short. How in the end when I find my Mr. Right it will all be worth everything that has gone wrong in every relationship before that and cancel it out.

I sat there on my parents bed crying after I read that.
Not only was it true, it made me feel good to know that I had such an awesome friend.
A friend I don't talk to anymore.
I tried like hell the rest of the afternoon to remember her cell #, but I couldn't.
See, back in Dec, the other BFF had a baby and no one called me. I got pissed and said screw em both, erased both all the phone and cell#'s and haven't heard from either since.
Not even after I sent them Faith's birth announcement.

It makes me sad, but what can you do? I told Randy I should send her a card, but I know my feelings would be hurt if I didn't hear from her after that.

If you didn't know, I'm very fragile.
I think of ending this blogg AT LEAST 2 times a week.

Just yesterday I got a email from someone telling me that I swear too much and if my Grandmother was alive, she'd wash my mouth out.
1. I'm an ADULT! I own my own home, have a husband and children. I can swear if I want.
2. My grandmother is who I learned to swear from in the 1st fucking place( Bill, can I get an AMEN on that one???!)!
3. Odviously, she hasn't seen my brother, Bill's site.

It drives me crazy and I wish I could change it, but I don't know where to even start.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

More Random things from the ugly girl in the 3rd row........

First of all, let me say that I am grateful for my family. Without them I would be nothing. Everything I do, I do for them. Randy and our girls are 1st and foremost in every choice that I make. Thats why, even if I had the money to become a body piercer, I would finish my nursing degree first. Who want to be a body piercer at 50? It would be something that I did on the side on the weekends.
But I don't have the money to do either yet, so that is that.
I'm not complaining about having to work full time. Marring Randy, I knew that I wouldn't be a stay at home mom or a trophy wife ( if I was it would probably be a bowling trophy.hehehe). I work the hours that I do so that I don't have to put them in daycare. Am I tired? HELL YES!! we all do what we have to do. I know I'm lucky to come home to a loving husband and 2 beautiful daughters.
I never said I wasn't
Everybody's a frickin critic, aren't they?

**********************************************************************

I forgot to mention that at Faith's 4 month check up on Friday, she weighed 10.11. Thats right.
10 Pounds 11 ounces.
No longer the size of a new born, but not the size of a 4 month old.
We're getting there. She's come a long way from the 3 pounds she was when she was born.
The Dr is VERY happy with her progress and so are we. She sleeps through the night and gives me smiles 1st thing every morning.
PEOPLE, MY KIDS ROCK!

*************************************************************************************
We stayed at my parents house over the weekend since they went out of town. Remember how I said we were going to have people over?
Yeah....................
Friday night I fell asleep at 7:30.
Thats right- 7:30PM.
ridicules.
Saturday we had planned to do "something fun".
We all took naps and then went shopping for an hour before we met Jamie and Xavier for dinner at Chili's. After that we went to the most sacred of all places, Super Target, and bought stuff to make cookies and cupcakes. AND while we were there, after many minutes of bargaining and begging on my part, Randy agreed to be this for halloween. I won't even tell you what I had to agree to in order for this to go over. It will all be well worth it though.

Anyway, so Randy, the girls, Jamie and Xavier and I headed back to Mom& Dad's where we made all the goodies and watched Crash.
That movie was so intense, I'm still not sure what to think about it. I don't like movies that put me in emotional overload. Mystic River was the same way for me.
I'd rather watch The Jacket, but we all knew that already, didn't we.
Adrien Brody.........I just can't find the words.........
Did I ever tell you guys how I had an A.B. picture as my screen saver and my husband changed it back to what it was before?
Asshat.

Anyways, what was I talking about?
OH, yeah ! I'm boring.
Thats all.
Not every exciting, am I?

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

A change in plans.......

I'm really behind on my reading, guys. My internet connection is totally sucking ass at home during the day( so much for cable) and I've been training at work. So no reading blogs in my spare time.
I'll be catching up with everything soon.
As of today I'm going back to work full time 6p-6a and I took back my notice.
I'm not leaving.
I was supposed to start working from home for my old hospice job doing admission data stuff in a couple weeks. I've already been doing it for almost a month.
Hours worked last week : 0

It's not promised hours and I don't want to screw us on money.
So, thats that.

Not that I don't like my job. There are people there I could do without, but I suppose you find that anywhere. Really, it's only one person, but I won't go into it because of the Dooce factor.

Right about now I'm kicking myself in the ass.
I wish I would have finished the ONE FRICKIN YEAR OF SCHOOL when I had the chance.
I'm such an idiot .

Sunday, October 02, 2005

The Weekend is over......Back to Work

I'm so excited to go back to work tomorrow

Friday, September 30, 2005

I told you bitches I was goin' to hell........

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test

Thursday, September 29, 2005

This is gonna go over real well, I just know it.

So guess what I want to be when I grow up?
A body piercer

Turns out that my pretend boyfriend, Shawn, and Slick Rick are opening a Tattoo shop just outside
The Old Market.
Now, if you're from Omaha you understand what a FRICKIN' SWEET location that is for a tattoo shop.
I asked Rick if he was going to do the piercing.
He said that they weren't going to have anyone doing them.
Yet, anyways.
Then he was telling me about this
school.

I'm hooked.
I wanna do it.

I'm not saying that I'd work with Shawn and Rick.
BUT they have inspired me.

I know my mom is shitting her pants as she reads this.
Sorry, Mom- I love you :o)
Don't worry, I'm still planning on finishing my nursing degree.

Besides, it's like $1,500 just for the training in CA. That doesn't count the plane ticket, hotel and food. I'm so debating if I should put up a paypal donation thingy on the links.

But wouldn't that be a KICK ASS JOB?
BTW- I have no tattoos and only my ears pierced. I have had my tongue and navel done in the past.
Women Pregnancy Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor,but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprophren bottle is empty and you just bought it yesterday


TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
.AND, Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN * ( I find that debatable)
WE ALL NEED a SMILE

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley."

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

BTW..............W.T.F. ( WHITE TRASH FOREVAR!)

Just so you all know:

Grace took a dump in the toilet last night. It was a big frickin' deal. We called all the grandparents and gave her a Nemo sticker.
Today shes gone though every pair of training pants we own with no luck.
Heaven forbid she would have to walk away from Dora the Crackhead to pee in the toilet.

Faith slept in her crib for the first time last night. Yes, I know she'll be 4 months old on Friday, but she's the size of a tiny baby. I don't think she even weighs 12 pounds yet. We'll see on Friday.
It was all very nerve racking. We both checked on her AT least 15 times.
Go Ahead - Tell us we're freaks.
Like it would be news to us.

K and I made a deal last night that if either of us win the lottery we're going on vacation without our husbands. I forgot to ask about the kids, though.
Better not be anytime soon, since she's prego.
Randy thinks I'd miss him to much.
HA!
We were watching Wife Swap the other night while we were putting away groceries and I was making fun of them all for crying because they hadn't seen their spouses in 10 days.
Randy looked at me and said " Really? I remember you crying the 1st day I gone the last time I went out of town for work"
Yeah, asshat- I was pregnant. It's different now.
Let them send you out of town now.
I'd still probably cry...........just not until the 8th day.


I've come to the conclusion that times goes much faster overnight. That must be the reason I always feel like I haven't slept at all when I get up.
Maybe I just need to start going to bed before 2am.
Seriously.


My brother was here, but now he's back overseas. He even graced us with his presence 3 times that week.
He even said that Faith was " cute now, but still looks like the Commish" because she doesn't have any hair on the top of her head.
He thinks all babies are ugly.

I was sick the whole time he was here.
He is however, on my shit list because he SIGNED UP for another year overseas.
My sister in law is a frickin' saint.
Then again, so is my husband. You have to be to marry a Hackenberg.
My brother told Randy he was surprised he wasn't drinking more by now.

I kinda am too.

And to add to the things that pissed me off yesterday, we took Grace to the mall last night to play in the little toddler playground area( After we left Target......Yes there is only ONE Target in this town and it's in the mall- Good thing we usually go to Omaha to shop)

Anyways, apparently, we were the only ones that were bothered by the fact that there was a group of 10-12 yr olds there playing TAG and pushing down/jumping over the toddlers.
We left.
I was hot!!!
I tried to find someone to tell ( I'm a tattle tail) but there was no one to be found.
Before we left we spoke very LOUNDLY about them being to big to be in there,
But I didn't want to get my ass kicked by the
white
trash
moms
there.
They didn't even look up.

I'm a pussy.
BUT, I am a pussy that feels not so sick today!

HEY JENNA! Last night's incident made my mind up about my costume for the Halloween party.

I need to find some blue eye shadow and and Race Car shirt................

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Things that piss me off today

1.
I've started watching this and I swear that if I ever see this douche, I'll knock his rich happy ass out.
I don't care if I'm a girl.
I have bigger balls than him, anyway.
Whats he gonna do? Sue me?
HAH! Good luck with that one.
I don't care who your Daddy is.
WHAT A ASSHOLE!!!!

2.
HBO is working itself on to my bad side because of this and this.

3.
Showtime, you're on my good side right now because of Weeds, but you gotta bring back Dead Like Me before I go apeshit.

4. I don't get it!!!!!!!!!!! They seemed so happy.


What a friggin' day.

Boring

I'm boring.
I feel like my blog has gone to shit.
I've got nothing funny to say.
I'm still sick and I think it's sucked the life right outta me.
Sorry guys.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

HOUSE PARTY!?

Years ago, when I was living at home, my parents used to go out of town, leaving me and my brother the house.
I will admit that we were boring. We never had parties.
At least I didn't, anyway. I don't know about my brother.
There was that ONE TIME when I was 21 and I had an after hours get together.
Really, it was just a plan to spend time with Randy outside of the bar ( I've motioned the whole DJ/ Karaoke company thing before, right?).
Anyways, the parents were out of town and I can't remember where my brothers were - they weren't there.
About 7 of us came back to my house and we played cards and drank more beer.
Good times, my friends.
Good times.

That night, our friend Brian, put his ass print on the picture window. My parents would have never know about that if he hadn't busted us out during his best man speech at our wedding reception ( You should have seem my face.......Priceless).

That was also the first night that my husband kissed me, inside on the steps.
Ahhhhhhhh.


Anyways, what I'm getting at here is that we're house sitting next weekend for my parents.
There house is HUGE and Grace loves their St. Bernard, Baby, with a passion.
They also have a mini play ground. So during a family lunch today, I mentioned how our friends are have a joint B-day party/ BBQ next weekend that's Adults only.
We won't be going since our babysitters are going out of town :o(
But Jamie and I told my mom we were going to have people over to here house instead.
Mom said that was fine - Go ahead.

I suppose we're trustworthy now that we're married with children.

Well, Crap!
Who the hell would I invite? All of our friends will be at the other "cool" party.

I foresee Blockbuster and grilling out next weekend for Randy, Jamie and I, while the kids run around and wear each other out.

We suck.

Random

No, nothing is wrong.
From what I'm picking up from some emails- CRY freaked some people out.
I'll explain this one more time.
What I was getting at is that before I started dating my husband, I went though hell.
But in the end - I won.
I don't have to listen to songs like that anymore.
I ended up where I was supposed to.

This song is kinda like our theme.
Never fear - We are fine.
Randy is my bestest friend in the whole wide world.
Besides, no one else would put up with my shit and no one else would put up with his.


What else can I tell you? Oh, I know !!!
I'm not pregnant.
WOOOOOHOOOOOO.
I didn't mention that we had a scare. I kinda felt a little guilty. I didn't/don't want to be pregnant again.
At least not anytime soon.
I'm talking years, people.
IF EVAR!
A while back we had a condom break and I freaked out.
Randy and I have never had any trouble getting pregnant.
Hell, Grace was a birth control patch baby.
We stopped "prevention methods" right before Grace turned one.
On her 1st birthday we found out I was pregnant again.
Then I lost her. We waited until we got the green light to try again from the Dr's and were pregnant again right away.
It was important to both of us to have 2 kids close in age. I hope my daughters have the kind of relationship that me and my brother have and Randy and his cousin, Courtney have ( they're like brother and sister).

I don't think we can even wash our underwear together, people.
Randy's sperm is just that good.
So when we had our little "mishap" a week or so ago I FREAKED OUT.
I don't write down dates or anything, so I had no idea where I was at.
Don't get me wrong - I don't need the hate mail, I know how lucky we are to have 2 beautiful, healthy daughters.
Here's my point - My body doesn't do pregnancy well.
I've never gotten past 32 weeks.
VERY SICK BOTH TIMES.
NICU both times.
Then to top it off my husband had a dream that we did have a 3rd baby, a little boy, not long after Faith. In this dream she was just learning to walk when he brought the baby home.
That little boy and his sisters grew up without a mom because I didn't' make it the 3rd time around.
That dream scared the shit outta me.
Call me selfish, I can live with that. We do want another baby, just not anytime within the next 3 years.
I'm tired, my friends. I've done 3 pregnancies in 2 and a half years.
My body is screaming for R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y!!!!
We haven't decided if we'll adopt or if we'll go the same ol' route again.
I keep remembering this.....................
I'm not going to think about it right now.
I'm going to rejoice for once that the period fairy stopped at my house this month

Friday, September 23, 2005

Cry

A long time ago I used to live off of this song.
I heard it today on my way to work. It made me think back to that time.
It was really shitty.
I'm talking horrible in every imaginable way.
I'm so thankful for where I am today.

Cry
If I had just one tear running down your cheek
Maybe I could cope maybe I"d get some sleep
If I had just one moment at your expense
Maybe all my misery would be well spent
Yeah.... Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that you"re feeling a little more pain
I gave now I"m wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

If your love could be caged - honey I would hold the key
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me
And you"d hunt those lies
They"d be all you"d ever find
And that"d be all you"d have to know
For me to be fine
Yeah.... and you'd cry a little
Die just a little
And baby I would feel just a little less pain
I gave now I"m wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

Give it up baby
I hear your goodbye

I can see it it your eyes
Some kind of heartache
Darlin give it a try
I don"t want pity
I just want what is mine
Yeah... could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that your"re feeling a little more pain
I gave now I"m wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

~Faith Hill

Thursday, September 22, 2005

" Are you guys having a killer time?"

If you ever doubted that I was a nerd, then today's video should set you right. Thanks for all the emails, kids. Let me assure you all that my illness was NOT a hangover. Silly people- don't you know I used to drink all the time? I'm an old pro at that game. I just can't drink as much anymore. I was tipsy after my 1st Morgan and Coke. So let me tell you how well I was after another Morgan and coke, 4 shots and some beer........

Yeahhhhhhhhhh.

I was Crunk.
I really wanted to use that word (hehehehehe)

It was a sad sorry situation. At the end of the night I was so drunk that I made my ex unlock his car so I could see the burn hole I made on his front passenger seat years ago.


Poor guy.


The point of that was I wanted to tell him karma is a bitch. When I got my new Grand Am last year, I didn't even have the stickers outta the window before I dropped a cherry off my smoke in the drivers seat. I don't think I ever got that far. I was distracted by how clean his car was.

Anyways..........

Both the girls have been sick as well. Just cold/allergy stuff though. We all just lay around in our PJ's all day and feel like poop. Not Randy though. He just keeps truckin. I'm starting to feel a little bit better I think. You all know it had to have been bad for me to have been away for so long. But if it makes you feel better know that I've watched ridicules amount of South Park, Family Guy, and I've watched Napoleon Dynamite (Again) a few times as well. I found this site - Hours of entertainment.

Yes, I am a nerd. Thanks for asking!
I also watched the most horrible movie EVAR( said in my Eric Cartman voice- see? Too much South Park)

I still watched the whole damn thing, though.
I'm blaming it on the drugs

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

No, I'm not dead

I'm sick.
I'll be back soon.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

This is what Annie and her friends look like Drunk








OMG - I had soooooooooooo much fun.
Seriously.
I drank way too much
I didn't puke like a little bitch, either.
We didn't get home until 2am. After Crazy monkey sex it was 4am and Randy went out searching for food.
That's the last thing I remember.
Then I passed out on the couch.
I don't feel too horrible today, but I think I'm going to take a nap.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Honor thy Mother and Father

On Tuesday, my mom asked me where I wanted to go to eat for my birthday this weekend (I wanted to wait until my brother was home). So I told her either Red Robin or The Amarillo (BBQ). She gave me a funny look and said " How about Farmer Browns? Your brother didn't get to eat there the last time he was home"
I said fine. Whatever.
Then I walked away thinking' why the fuck did you even ask me if you already had your mind made up?'
I don't really like Farmer Browns. Either does my husband. All I have ever get there is spaghetti. I was craving it when I was pregnant with Faith, but uh, she's almost 4 months old now and I've gotten over it

Then this is the conversation we had today"

Me:So, what time we were doingt this on Sunday, because I'm going out for BBQ at some point this weekend.
Mom:Well, I don't know what time your brother will be getting up or what he has planned"
Me: Are we going out for my birthday or because Bill is in town?
Mom: We thought we'd go out for your birthday. Why?
Me: Because I'm still trying to figure out why you would ask me where I wanted to go if you already had your mind made up with where we were going because thats what Bill likes.
Mom: Fine, Ann -
............and then she fucking hung up


So, Me being the petty bitch I am, called her voicemail at work and told her to forget it. I'm not going.

SHE DRIVES ME FUCKING CRAZY!

The world stops when my brother is in town.


* Yes I do realize that there are much more important things going on in the world than where I'm eating at, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm a petty bitch.

Now go donate to the Red Cross




Wednesday, September 14, 2005

BIG PIMPIN'


Friday I will be drunk.
So very loaded with Captian Morgan that after about an hour I will be the prettiest girl in the bar, the best dancer, everyone's best friend, and so uncommonly witty that I could have anyone in the place.
I will be big BIG PIMPIN', MO FO's!!!!

And I'm sure I'll have the pictures to prove it

*You all know I'm still going home with Randy
Shut up

This is my new pen!!! It's the Alien from Toy Story and IT LIGHTS UP WHEN YOU WRITE!!!!!






I really hate that picture of me, but I wanted to show you all that I am a nerd and when the Red Robin came around to take pictures with the kids, I asked if I could have one too.

And in case anyone was wondering what Randy and the girls got me - It's right here

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

"I got a Present for ya right here, Lady"

I woke up @ 6:30 this morning to the sound of my fat orange cat puking in on the carpet in the hallway right outside the bedroom door


Happy Birthday to me.


We're going to Red Robin tonight

YIPPPYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Email Spotlight


The end to the Geico commericals.



Thank you, Crazy Aunt!

I've been there before


Not with Randy, of course, but I've been there............
And it blew the fuck up in my face.


I got this at PostSecret today.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Now EVERYONE can DO IT


Comments have now been adjusted so that anyone ( Jenna, Courtney, everyone who has sent me a email regarding it) can join in.

Letter verification is back, though

Fucking spammers.......

You're all welcome for the eye candy.

Just in case you were wondering what to get me for my birthday on Tuesday........


I think that this would be agreeable...

It's on eBay

It's A purse :o) So I could take Adrien with me everywhere.

These are slightly offensive so don't look if you can't hang

1
2
3
4
5



This site is too funny - anything from here would do.


Alright, bitches - Get to it!

You guys know I'm kidding, right?

Friday, September 09, 2005

Rob is Outta There! I gotta new man....

Happy FRIDAY, Bitches!!!!!

It's Friday, people! I hope everyone has a good weekend! It's my weekend to work, so thats what I'll be doing. WOOOHOOOO!
Exciting, isn't it?

Here's some fun for you.
Crazy Aunt and I did it at work the other night and we kicked ass.

Here is one from the 90's. It's from the UK, but shouldn't be toooooo hard.

Alright, kids - HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

All about sharing the love

I love getting free stuff in the mail. So, I thought I'd share the love with you, my internet friends

Here you go!


Here's another.

This is nice.

This is for the Ladies.


This is to use on the ladies......or the boyfriend.
Whatever.

If you're having blatter issues. I think you actually have to find the free sample link to that one.
It's there.


Thats all for today my friends :o)

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

This one's for Jenna

Over the weekend, some friends and I sat around and talked about going to a female strip club for my birthday.
I'm gonna wear this shirt, kids.....
And sit next to Jenna
Your welcome!

Just plain pissy

Sometimes I just wanna pack up my shit and fucking move to Texas.
I know I need to grow a thicker skin, but that's easier said than done
I know I can be oversensitive,
But some people can just be bitches
I am me.
I AM loud.
I'm NOT prim and proper AND I probably never will be.
That's just not me
And I'm not gonna suck your asshole just b/c everyone else thinks your hot shit.



And Thats how I feel about that

Monday, September 05, 2005


I want this hat !!!!!!!! Even if Kevin has it.
He's a turd.

And For those of you who wondered how "college" was going for Steve from Blues Clues..............
HAH!


AND I forgot to mention how my friend Justin, once again found time to give me shit over this at the BBQ Sunday.
You're lucky I like you wife and kid, dude.


What Should I be for Halloween?
This?
This ( It would be the hopped up Council Bluffls version, of course)?
Or This?
I just don't know.......

Mel Tagged my Ass

7 Things I want to do Before I die
1. Be a Sexy Bitch
2. Finish the ONE FRICKIN' YEAR OF SCHOOL I HAVE LEFT!
3.Buy a bigger house
4. Meet K
5.Dress like a Girl for the fun of it(I can hear the gasps now)
6.Learn how to do my hair and Makeup
7......
I'm pretty boring............

7 Things I can do
1. Be a good mom
2. Be a good wife
3. Smoke
4.Drink( every now and Then)
5. Eat the holy hell out of Red Robin
6.Curse like a sailor ( that's what my mom says, anyway)
7. Be the funny girl in the room

7 Things I CANNOT DO
1. Sing well while Intoxicated...or at all after some beer
2.take shots without getting sick or feeling like ass the next day
3.Have a pregnancy that actually goes to 40 weeks
4. not worry that certain people talk about me
5. Live without Randy or our girls
6. spell well
7. Hold back smartass comments

7 Things that attract me to the opposite SEX
1. Eyes ( Thats how Randy got me)
2. A BIG PENIS
.........Does it really matter after that?


7 THINGS I SAY THE MOST
1. What the fuck?
2.Shut the Fuck up!
3.I love you
4. You're a douche...
5. You gotta be shittin' me
6. Asshat
7. Time out

7 Celebrity Crushes
1. Rob Thomas
2. Chad Kroger
3. Shakria
4. Adrian Brody
5.Pink
6. Tori Amos
7.Josh Lucas



I'll leave out the 7 people I want to do this.
You're all welcome.
But you all know who you are

Random

I forgot to mention in my last post that since my friends were drunk and couldn't figure out how to work my camera, you don't get to see pictures of me doing my Shakira impression of the Whenever,Whatever video, me bustin out some 1990 dance moves, and Me singing the Milkshake song while standing on a chair ( karaoke, of course).
The beer will always win.
I also hit the 40 pound mark on Friday. Don't get excited, I probably gained about 10 of that back over the last 4 days.
Friday was Red Robin and Beer.
Saturday I woke up with a raging UTI, so I drank ridiculous amounts of cranberry juice and ate McDonald's ( comfort food). You know it's bad when you watch SUPER SIZE ME and it makes you want a Big Mac.
Randy and I just hung out and rented movies. If you haven't seen THE JACKET , then rent it!!!!!
AWESOME!!!!!!!
I was never really an Adrian Brody fan, but I changed my mind.
Hot.
Good Lord, I'm still having dreams........................

Sunday was a BBQ at our friends house.Enough said. However, I don't know what to do with Grace. She doesn't seem to play well with others. Only her cousin.

I had intended on getting back on the WW wagon this morning, but I woke up in pain and needed a cookie. I forgot about re-starting today.
I'm getting back on the wagon in the morning. .
I swear.

Annie out

Saturday, September 03, 2005

This was how my Friday went. How about yours?





Believe it or not- I didn't get drunk.

I was the DD

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Crackheads are like cockroaches......

At least in my neck of the woods they are.
When I get home at night (12:30am-ish) We go sit outside and watch the crackheads ride by on their bikes.
No, I'm not kidding.
They really are crackheads and their out looking for a fix.
Or delivering the drugs - I can't decide
For real ("FO SHIZZLE").
I've been trying my best to work out when I can.
Really, I have.
Don't fucking look at me like that......Anyway.
So, last night after the girls went to bed I told Randy I was going on a walk.

Randy: In the dark?!?!?
Me:Yeah.......
Randy: With all the crackheads out? I don't think so.
Me: Would you rather I went in the morning?
Randy: Ummm YEAH!

Needless to say, I didn't go walking this morning cause I passed out on the couch while watching Family Guy last night and I didn't set the alarm when Randy woke me up to go to bed.
Lazy.

I did go on a walk earlier last night with the girls, but how fast can you walk with a 2 yr old and a baby strapped to you in a snuggly?
Not very

I like to steal things from Mel...........

Artificial Networked Nocturnal Infiltration Entity

Busted

One of my peeps asked what my favorite song is.
I don't have one.
That's impossible.
So here's ONE of my Fav's.
It was never released


Busted
I forget when the words were only words
She knows the party makes me nervous
In this stage we can't get hurt
Don't try to understand me
We're too cool to be alone
But, not too crazy to get busted
I found out one life just ain't enough
I need another soul to feed on

I'm the flame I can't get burnt
I'm wholly understated

I found silence in this space
An on and off again attraction
I need such amazing grace
Heaven sweep me away

(chorus)
Love don't change, don't come around here
Don't wear my heart on your sleeve
Like a high school letter
Don't strain, cuz nothing ever comes from it
And the people we've become, well
They've never been the people who we are

I strap on one horse and prayed for luck
I dug another hole to bleed
I know exactly how this works
I need a new feel dirty
I don't need you crowding up my space
I just want to get inside you

You can't believe the heart you save
Giving something away

(chorus)

I dreamed that the world was crumbling down
We sat on my back porch and watched it
I dreamed that the buildings all fell down
We sat on my back porch and watched it
In my head I heard the sound
Like fifteen strangers dancing
But oh how I want you to know me
Oh how I want you to know me
Oh how I wish I was somebody else, baby
Oh how I wish you could own me
(chorus)

One of my fav's.
There you go.
Who else has a question?
Bring it........