Friday, April 29, 2005

One Big Baby

What do you do when you're 27 weeks pregnant and you can't be cross trained at work because you're retarded? Cry! What do you do when Dr's yell at you b/c you have no idea what you're doing? Cry! What do you do when you've cried at work all night and you look like a big fat idiot and people keep looking at you and decide that they don't like you anymore? Cry, then go home and cry some more and go to sleep. What do you do when you go back to work the next night and 45 minutes into your shift you find that you're bleeding? You cry and call the Dr. What do you do when the Dr says to go home and come in if it gets worse before your appt tomorrow? Cry while you're walking down the hall out to your car, so you can go home and put your feet up. What do you do when your husband tries to make you feel better by bring you home breadsticks from the Taco Bell/ Pizza Hut Drive thru. You don't cry - You happily eat those little fuckers like you've never seen food before in your fat little life. Ahhhhhh. I think I will be asking for"crazy drugs" today at my dr's appt. I can't take this anymore. When the only thing that's made you smile in 2 days is food, then you have issues. I'll update after my appt.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Pissy Mood

I have decided that I just don't like people. I don't know why. I hope that it's a pregnancy-related thing, but who knows? Maybe, I'll just feel like a bitch for the rest of forever. Did anyone else get like this when they were prego? I don't remember being this way when I was pregnant with Grace. I wish I didn't have to leave the house today!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Pregnancy + KFC = No Good

I don't like fried chicken. I hardly ever eat it unless it's from this place called Surf Side. But for some reason on Sunday I wanted KFC for lunch. Randy, being as wonderful as he is, went right out and got it. There was a ton left over, so I took it to work for dinner that night. Then around 4 am I went and threw up....AND IT CAME OUT MY NOSE AND GOT ON MY SHIRT. GROSS! Needless to say, I ended up going home. I've felt like poop ever since then. Never again will I eat KFC while knocked up..EVER!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

More Letters...

Dear Randy,
I'd like to thank you for the following:
1.) working 2 jobs and not being a cocktart about it
2.) doing the shopping today.
3.)buying me the new Rob Thomas CD when you know that he's the only man I would ever leave you for( then again, you've know this since I was 21 - it should be no surprise six years later.)
4.)Bringing me dinner to work last night on your way home, letting your own dinner get cold
5.) Just being an all around great guy.

I love you more than I say. - Annie


Dear Billy,
Happy Birthday to you, my baby bro. I realize that at 24 you aren't a baby, but you'll always be my 1st baby. You know that. I hope you know how much I love and miss you. I hope that they have good drinks where you are overseas. Have a few for me. Just know that I was thinking about you today and that I didn't forget.
Love, your sis


Dear Jamie,
Thank you for all the help lately. You have helped me stay sane when you yourself should be going crazy. Thanks for marrying my brother and giving me a cute nephew. I don't know how you do it all, but I think it either has to be that you are superwoman or you are on good drugs. If it's drugs then you are a bitch for not sharing.
Love, your SIL


Dear Crazy Aunt,
Thank you for bringing me a cushion to sit on at work, in hopes of "fixing" my "virginia". I'm glad someone else is worried about my "Virginia" too.
Love, your favorite niece.

Dear Neighbors,
HAHAHA, FUCKERS!!!! I WIN. SUCK ME, YOU TOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much Love, The Gold Grand AM Parked in the Street

Saturday, April 23, 2005

FYI

I parked in front of my house this morning and didn't feel bad about it. It's nice to see they parked the Semi in front of someone elses house, once again , instead of their own. When I left for work this afternoon @ 5:15pm and saw that they were walking to their mini van( parked in front of my next door neighbor, BOB's house) I didn't even bother to see if they were throwing dirty looks my way.
So There!

Letters

Dear Neighbor,
I realize that we don't know eachother and have never had a conversation. I think I've made attempts to be friendly by waving when we see you driving, bringing your kids bags of candy on Halloween when I was afraid that we missed them b/c we had our little one out, and always smiling and saying hello when we are on our walks. So, would you please tell me why you find it ok to have whoever it is that stays with you, park their semi in from of our house, across the street and up a house from your own? Is the street no good in front of your house? Is it because you tilled your yard a few weeks ago and you're trying to get your yard to grow? In case you didn't notice - we tilled our yard a few days after you and are trying to do the same. Do you not find it rude at all? And why is it, that the 1 time we parked in the front of OUR house in the last 6 months, you stood there and gave us dirty looks? Did you not see that we were carring in all sorts of boxes of toys? It was our daughter's birthday and it was easier for us to use the front door instead of the back, where we would have to drag everything through the kitchen. I really shouldn't have to explain this all to you, but I'm trying to be nice. However, starting in the morning when I come home from work, I will be parking my happy ass in front of my house, knowing that whoever it is that drives the semi, won't be back until around 8am. I am no longer playing nice. I don't care if you want to give me dirty looks. I think you are rude. AND your jackass nextdoor neighbor with the race car told us how you shot your dog in the head last yr because she chewed up some of your work equipmentand you got in trouble. I think thats really fucking shitty. And I don't think that you are nice people. So yes, I will be parking my car in front of my house and no longer care or want to play nice with you. And if you don't like it then you can just SUCK ME, ASSHOLE!!!!!

Sincerely,
Your neighbor with the Grand Am parked in front






Dear Jackass,
I think you're an ok guy for the most part. I do believe you can be bit of a verbal masterbator and you tend to lie a little. Would you like an example? You told us all sorts of stories about when our house was on fire and how the previous owner died in that fire. Um, hello? It's bad enough knowing that the woman that lived in our home before us died a tragic death there. Smoke inhalation is no way to go. Thats right, smoke inhalation - thats how she died. She didn't "fry" like you said she did.They didn't bring her out " all burned up in the face" like you said you saw. I find it funny that you know anything about that fire since YOU DIDN'T EVEN LIVE IN THE CITY WHEN IT HAPPENED. Thats right, the 1 neighbor we do like and talk to told us how you and your Dad didn't rent your house until 2 months after that fire. So thanks for the images of that poor woman who owned our house before us. I'm glad thats not how she really went. Now, on to why I'm really writting - Your race car. WHAT THE FUCK????? Seriously, do you really think you're hot shit? I really just want to know why you have to rev your engine all the FUCKING time? Is it like stroking your cock? I imagine the pleasure you get from that everytime I see you walking around in your North Carolina, baby blue shorts, with your beer gut hangin' out ( BARF) like you are God's gift to women. But is there really a reason to rev your engine at all hours of the night? I realize the people across the street, on the corner from you, are deaf, but I also know that their baby isn't. And we, directly across the street from you, are NOT deaf and do not enjoy your NASCAR re-enactments @ midnight. Seriously. Why do you need to rev your engine after 10pm?? I'm just wondering I'm just letting you know that the first time you wake up my daughter(s) I will walk my cubby, unhappy ass across the street, ready to throw down, and remind you very loudly that some people aren't on unemployment and have to work in the morning and have children who enjoy sleeping at night. Then I will sit on youand squash you like the bug that you are. I don't like to be mean. Really, I don't. I'm actually a very nice person. But I see that being nice doesn't get me anywhere. Did you forget our "nice" chat last summer about you reving your engine and waking up my daughter? I guess you must have. Maybe it's all the sun intake from not wearing a shirt and having that beer belly exposed. Hmmmmmm, I wonder. Anyways, just wanting to drop you a note to remind you. If you had x-ray vision and could see behind that Semi in front of my house, you'd see me flippin you off.

Love, Annie

Wackin It Out Loud

This is a conversation we had on our front porch the other night:

A: So how was trainning tonight

R: Retarded- I hate our class.

A: Did douche bag cunt head make you guys dance again (Thats the name I gave his 12 yr old trainer, who by the way, was hired 6 weeks ago for the same job as R, after she WROTE HIM UP on the 2nd day for rubbing his eyes b/c she thought he was sleeping. HELLOOOOO??!! My husband, unlike me, is very mature and responsible when it comes to work. If he would have been sleeping he would have gone home and not wasited their time or his)

R: Yup. She treats us like we're babies. It drives me fucking crazy.

A: Did you sit with the older group of people again ( most of the people are 20 yrs old)

R: Yeah, but that one guy that's 27 bugs the shit outta me. He's smart, but I think he smokes weed before class.

A: Are his eyes all red?

R Yeah, that and he won't stop talking. He knows everything about everything.

A:Ahhhhhhh, he's a Verbal Masturbator

R: ( while looking straight ahead, taking a long drag off his smoke) It was so bad, we all had to stand up and shake the cum off ourselves at the end of the night.

**I, being as special as I am, can't stop laughing. I'm laughing so hard I worry that I might wake up our neighbors. Then I remember that they wouldn't be able to see who was laughing anyway because theres that huge fucking semi in front of my house, blocking us on the front porch.

A: SHAKE THE CUM OFF - YOU'RE FUCKING KILLING ME ( Still laughing and almost peeing myself-this is why I married this man)

Friday, April 22, 2005

Ready...Set....

Ok, so it just hit me that my last post didn't have the word" fuck" in it - NOT even once! So, I'll probably make up for it in my posts today. I wouldn't you fuckers ( remember, "Fucker" is a term of endearment) to think I lost my trucker mouth- Believe me, I have NOT. I have lots I need to spew and it will take a few different posts to get it all out, so get ready for the ride........

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Old Friends

So, I called the Dr this morning and they refered me to physical therapy. WOOOOOHOO. I didn't call and make an appt. yet- Not in a big hurry for all that fun. Then I spent the rest of the day sleeping. It ws a beautiful thing, let me tell ya. Then, later on that night, an old friend came over with her kids for a visit. My old best friend from 3 year ago. We had a falling out and stopped talking. I won't go into all the " yuckies" as to what happened because I don't really think it matters anymore. I will say that I'm not innocent. Anyways, she has been dating my ex-fiance for those 3 yrs now and they are very happy. I think it worked out the way it was supposed to. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I, without a doubt in my mind, was ment to be with R. He's the love of my life, my other half ( Feel free to go puke now) and I think that it's the same for them. It's funny how things work out sometimes. Although, at the time, it was one of the hardest things I ever went though, I would never change it. It made me who I am and I ended up where I was supposed to be. I'm thankful that it all happened.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Things that are pissing me off today...........

10.) New database at work that is a great big piece of POOP.

9.) My "Virginia"

8.) Asshole Dr's that I am forced to talk everynight I'm at work.

7.) Asshole Nurses that think they rule the fucking planet

6.) I cried today because I missed my husband ( This is only his 2nd day working 2 jobs and I'm already a fucking baby about it).

5.) Iowa Drivers ( Idiots Out Wandering Around)

4.) My husband's new bullshit 2nd job where his 12 yr old trainer is a douch and thinks she's hot shit( Note to people - do not fuck with my husband )

3.) Dora the Explorer ( I didn't have to watch it today, but it pisses me off just the same)

2.) The port-a- pottie situation at work - If you're gonna drop a duce, spray some juice!!!!! The febreeze air refresher is RIGHT FUCKING THERE! Come on people!

1.) I was too tired/lazy to go buy the new Rob Thomas CD that came out today. What the hell is wrong with me?!

Houston, We Have A Problem.... maybe....

Ok, this is a pregnanct related, whiny post.... you've been warned.

So, I didn't post yesterday because 1.) I went on a 24 hours cleaning binge and was exhausted. 2.) I was watching Dora the Idoit who wanders with the Monkey, all fucking day with my kid. 3.) I took a nap. 4.) I was just plain pissy and I hurt.
# 4 was the issue above all else. Here's the deal, kids. My "Virginia" has been hurting a lot lately. See, I sit in a chair, upright, for 12 hours on the nights I work. So what, right? It's causing pressure on my" Virginia". Last night after not getting up for a while, I got up to walk 2 feet to my fax machine and started to cry. It feels like this kid is falling out! So , I was pissy. And let me tell you, this kid isn't coming from " Virginia". I have the pelvis of an 11 year boy. This little girl will be making her way via C - section just like her big sister. I will be calling the Dr tomorrow to see what she says. I'm afraid that I'll get put on bed rest and I'm not ready for that, but then again, I don't want to do anything that will hurt the baby, so I guess I'll just shut the fuck up and do what I need to do. WAHHHHH.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

The weekend

My weekend was very relaxing. All the lawn work was done ( by R, of course) and we just spent time together like one happy little family. We even went to Target TWICE. WOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Princess Grace got a new pair of Dora the Idiot who wanders with the monkey, sandles. She was happy about it. Now everyone is in bed and I'm doing laundry( can't you tell????). It's big fun here! I think I might be nesting. I cleaned some drawers out today that I haven't even looked in for months, found all the baby bottles and washed them, went through all of the Princess's toy's ( not an easy task) and ORGANIZED them all, and am now doing laundry. I amaze myself.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Friday

Well, it's Friday and I have the whole weekend off. Randy got that 2nd job and he starts Monday. I know it has to be done, but it sucks. He'll be leaving for his regular programing job at 6am then working until 2:30pm. THEN working his 2nd job ( as AOL customer service - HA! )from 3-11p for the next 3 weeks. SO what do I do when he tells me this? What do you think? I cry like the hormonal pregnant woman that I am. I hate that he is going to have to work so much. But we also know that if I carry this little girl past 32 weeks it'll be amazing. Not to mention the time I'll probably spend in the hospital before hand. Thats where it hurts us. We make good money, but we also have good bills to go right along with that. We tried to save, but well........ that just didn't happen. Something always came up. When we had Grace I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. After I had her she was in the NICU for 2 weeks. When I finally did go back to work it was short lived. I had my gallbladder out 3 weeks after I went back to work and I had complications. So, since I was in the nursing field and was put on restrictions, I couldn't go back to work for another 6 weeks. All in all I was off almost 6 months. It took us another 6 months to get caught up. Ahhhhhhh. I hate money. So needless to say, I can't afford to take another 6 months off. We know what we're in for this time around. We just need that money put away for when I'm on leave. And to be honest, I don't want to have to rush back to work. What can you do? I was given strict orders from the Doc to not have a 2nd job, which sucks a big fat one. I could take on a private nursing job on the nights I have off and be paid daily, making more than Randy would in a week at his 2nd job, but Noooooooooooo. I'm still thinking about it. Maybe I'll become a " Lady of the Night" instead. Do you think there's a big demand for pregnant women?
I think I need to go walk around Target and calm myself.......... Anyone have any ideas????

Thursday, April 14, 2005

This is Gross... YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

Due to the pluming at work, we are using Port-A-Potties and have been for a little over a week. Outside. I find this very gross, but what can you do? I'm pregnant. When I gotta pee, I gotta pee. Now, I come to work at 5:45pm. I can usually hold off on peeing until way after 10pm. Tonight, however, I was not so lucky. I had to go by 6:30pm......and it was still light outside. That was a treat! I walk in, lift the lid and BAM! sitting right there, perched on a pile of blue soggy toliet paper was THE BIGGEST TERD I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE...just chillin. So what do I do? What choice do I have - I must pee on it. However, I did think of naming it while I was peeing on it. I can not begin to tell you how happy I am that this is my last night at work before my 3 day weekend. 3 glorious days of indoor pluming......... Aren't you glad I shared? You're welcome.

Another Crazy Dream

I dreamt that I was back in High School. However, I was married to Randy and we had Grace and we still had Faith on the way. I remember walking through the halls thinking
Hmmmm, I wonder if I'll be able to get back into my cheerleading uniform after I have this baby............................................

She Thought I Looked Like A FATASS

So, my sweet Princess Grace had her 2 year check up this morning at 9:30am. Now, being that I didn't get home and go to bed until 6:30am, I can say I didn't dress up for this appointment. I threw on a sweatshirt when the alarm went off, brushed my teeth and pulled my hair back and was ready to go ( Randy, of course, got the princess ready). So we get there and take Grace out of her car seat to find that she dumped her sippy cup upside down on the side of her and her ass was very noticeably wet. Great. We get checked in right away and are taken to the exam room where the nurse asks us all the stupid questions.You know, the ones that you always want to answer wrong just to see the look on their face.
" You know that baby should never be left alone in the bath tub?"
-No Shit?! Well, fuck, Randy- We're gonna have to stop going out to dinner while she's in the tub. DAMN!
" Baby lives with both Mom and Dad?
- Yes, Mom, Dad, Mommy's pimp and Daddy's 2 girlfriends. And 2 cats. Don't forget the cats. Thats important.
" Baby lives in a smoke-free environment?"
-Yes, as long as there aren't any problems with the Meth Lab
And the list goes on.........
Anyway, so they weigh her, measure her and check her head circumference. She's in the 95% for weight. 100% for height( thanks to her Daddy). 50% for her head, but it's hard to tell now that her hair is so long. Believe it or not, it's actually alot better since she wore her helmet(Yes, my daughter had a helmet to reshape her Melon). All in all - She's good. So the nurse leaves ( to go report us to CPS for having a Meth lab in my our basement, I'm sure) and we wait like 20 minutes for the Dr. Finally, the Dr. comes in, takes a look at me and says
" Wow. You look like you're ready to pop."
I tell her no, not yet - I'm only 25 weeks along.
" And there's just one in there??????"
I tell her yes.
" And you're sure......???"
Yes, I'm sure. I'm high risk - I have a ultrasound every visit
" Oh..........." and then I saw it in her eyes......she was thinking FATASS.
Ahhhhhhhhhh. What can you do? I've gained 16 pounds so far. 2 pounds of that is baby. Is it my fault that Crazy Aunt force feeds me Cool Ranch Doritos? I can't help it - I have no self control when they call my name...........OINK OINK

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

My Days Off

Just wanted to tell you all what I did on my 2 days off..... Not a fucking thing. It rained the whole time.I did go to lunch with Jen the fucker. Then we went to the store last night for milk. Exciting, huh? I played with the munchkin - watched more fucking Dora the god damn explorer then should be allowed, and put together the SAME Blues Clues puzzle like 9,845,365 times. I know.... you're all wishing you were me (without the hormones, of course). Was there headboard bangin'crazy monkey sex you ask? Why yes, yes there was. Was there any doorbell ringing? No, like I said, it was raining and I would've had to put pants on. I'm lazy.

DAMN HORMONES!!!

I can not begin to tell you all how sick I am of crying. I hate the hormones that come along with pregnancy. Monday I cried while watching FULL HOUSE: THE E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY. 1ST off, why the hell was I watching that? I have no fucking clue. Later that day I cried at a coffee commercial. Then last night, Randy was trying to cover me up in bed and accidently elbowed me in the head... HARD. I freaked out and started yelling at him before he even got the chance to say anything. Then I grabbed up my body pillow( named cock blocker) and took my happy ass to the couch. Now, I knew he didn't do it on purpose and it stopped hurting after a few minutes, but I was really pissed. I did end up going back to bed after 20 minutes. After R promised to not hit me anymore and swore he loved me ( isn't that what they always do after they hit you- swear they love you and it'll never happen again?.... Anyone who knows me in real life knows I could break him in half in like , 2.5 seconds) Then I called my sister-in-law to tell her that R had a 2nd interview at her place of employment tomorrow and that he put her down so she could get a referral bonus. We started talking about why he needed a second job and how worried I am about money once I went on maternity leave. Then I cried for the next 2 FUCKING HOURS!! Thats a little much, I think. Someday I hope to not be crazy anymore.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Not a Manic Monday

It's 3 am. Do you know where your kids are? I do, I do! My 2 yr old and 28 yr old are at home in bed sleeping. And in 3 hours I'll be joining them. It was my weekend to work and it's coming to a close. 2 whole days off just around the corner. And do you know what I plan on doing on those to days? Not a fucking thing - no plans at all. Nothing that has to be done. Maybe I'll work in the garden. Maybe I'll trim the shrubs between our house and BOB's.... Noooooo, thats a lie. If anything I'll watch R do it. I'd like to take Grace to the park if the weather is nice, but I hear it's all rain for the next few days, so we'll see. I know I'll watch THE L WORD and I know I'll sleep. Maybe R will get a little monkey love... Maybe I'll wait until 2am and ring some doorbells......... The possibilities are endless.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

just a little bit more....

I thought tell you all a little bit more about me. Ready? Here we go.
I am the oldest and only girl in my family. I have 2 younger brothers, B and M. B is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. He's overseas right now, but his wife is just as good. M is 18 - enough said. I was born and raised in Omaha, Ne. I married the man of my dreams. Our daughter is the best thing that ever happen to us. I got very sick and had her at 32 weeks, but it was all worth it. 13 days later she came home. We liked her so much that we started trying for another baby before she turned 1. On her 1st b-day we found out we were pregnant again. We lost our 2nd daughter,Emma, 4 months later. We were told not to try again for 6 months. At the time I worked in Hospice and just couldn't do it anymore. So I worked with Alzheimer patients instead ( SEE? I REALLY AM A GOOD PERSON). For our wedding anniversary, R gave me a fabreze scent player and gave him a pee stick with 2 pink lines. Here we are. I work overnights in a Trasfer Center for a hospital. So although I am A HUGE smartass I have a good heart....and a big mouth

nanananananananananaBATMAN

After bitching about my neighbors, I remembered something I thought of doing the other morning at 2am.
Me: (Laughing uncontrollably after fixing the blinds by our bed that Fat Bastard, our cat,had been in). RANDY!!! LOOK!
R: What is wrong with you?
M: Look across the street - M__ has a glow in the dark doorbell.
R: So?
M: Wouldn't it be some funny shit if I ran over there and rang her doorbell then ran away? ( As I'm laughing so hard I'm crying b/c I'm picturing my fat, no shoe wearing, pregnant ass, running across the street in a Batman like attempt to ring an elderly woman's door bell and run away.... all at 2am.
R: You really are going to hell, aren't you?
Yes.. Yes, I am
Note to Readers: I would never really do that... Sober, anyways

Saturday, April 09, 2005

The CRaZy AuNtY

I am lucky enough to work with my Crazy Aunt (CA). Now, When most people think aunt they think old. My CA is more like my sister. She's only 8 years older than me. She's some fuckin' funny shit. She also feeds me a lot. We are quite the pair, her and I. And it doesn't hurt that she has nice boobies,either.

Verbal Masturbation.

Verbal Masturbator: One who talks for his or her own pleasure.

There is a guy I work with that drives me absofuckinglutely crazy. He's in his mid 20's and still like to drop the " my parents are loaded " bomb, as if it makes him hot shit. He's a jack of all trades. He knows everything about everything. He is the alpha male. He makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

" You know, that dream where you fight the homeless guy for a sandwich?"

I have crazy pregnancy dreams. Lately, they've all been about food. Not that I mind not having sex dreams about Steve from Blues Clues or the one where I work with Patrick from Sponge Bob Square pants. I don't even miss the one where I'm Dora and R is Boots, and his sexy red boots got me all wet and we go behind the tree and come out singing " We did it! We did it! We did it! Hooray!" No I'm not kidding. But my dreams this morning topped the cake. They were all about food.
Dream #1
I'm in a crusing down the open road. Just me and my curley fries. And I remember thinking " Damn, this is the life".
Dream # 2
I'm out with my husband and my aunt. We meet a younger homeless couple and we're discussing how they make it day to day. We decide to take them out to lunch. For one reason or another my meal comes with a extra sandwich that I was unable to eat. The next thing I know I see the homeless guy wrapping it and putting it in his pocket for later. And I'm pissed. Ready to fucking throw down and kick his ass for taking my god damn sandwich. Who the fuck is he to take my sandwich?!
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??????

Won't you be my neighbor? ( part 2)

And so now you know about BOB. I forgot to mention that BOB's clothes line is right outside our kitchen windown. She likes to hang her underwear out to dry......and then forgets that they're out there. I'm talking weeks at a time. I told R she has a crush on him and he needs to take his shirt off when he mows. He didn't find that funny.
Now lets move on to the neighbor across the street. I call him Jackass. He openly admits that he doesn't pay his child support and I've never seen his son over at his house. Thats not the point, Point being that he's a NASCAR flag waving fun lovin guy and has a car he races. Thats cool. Not my cup of tea, but whatever. What I have a problem with is that he is CONSTANTLY working on his car at all hours. LOUDLY. Now, I've come to realize that the world doesn't revolve around me. Who cares that I work overnight. BUT WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY YOU NEED TO REV A ENGINE FOR 12 HOURS?? I don't get it. He takes brakes - don't get me wrong. I can get almost back to sleep before he goes for another round. I don't want to go over and say anything since all the other neighbors think it's the greatest thing in the world. And my mouth has been know to get me in trouble more than once. I don't want to call the police because don't want to start a war with him. I said something to him last summer, but it seems that it's been long forgotten. I don't think I'm being petty, but I've also seen what it's like when neighbors can't get along. So, I'll wait until he comes over and bring it up. Nicely. Well, as nice as I can be.
And last, but not least, our other neighbors that live across the street next to Jackass. I've never really talk to them. I took their kids candy on Halloween b/c I made bags for all the kids in the neighborhood and we weren't home yet when they came by, but thats about it. They have someone that stays with them that has a big ol' semi truck. You know the kind that has 2 batteries and has to run a good part of the time or one will die. Yeah, they like to park that bad boy right smack in front of MY house and start it up at 3am and let it run. I feel like I should be running around my house sayin' " You might be a redneck if......"

Won't you be my neighbor? ( part 1)

I'll be the first to say that sometimes I wished we had stayed in our 3 bedroom apartment instead of buying a house. There are the plus sides of owning a home - don't get me wrong. You can turn your music up loud. You can have friends over and not have to quiet them down after a few drinks. You can have crazy monkey sex as loud as you want and not have to worry about the guy downstairs hearing the headboard smack the wall. However, it has it's downside as well. Yard work. Nobody shovels the snow for you. You break it you fix it. And your neighbors, eventhough not under you, are still next to you and they tend not to move as often as apartment neighbors do. That is where my problem lies. Ladies and Gentelmen, I do not like my neighbors.
Our next door neighbor(we call her BOB - bag of bones) hated us from the get go. She was not happy that a young couple bought the house.
ME: Hi there. We're the ______, your new neighbors
B: You don't have a dog, do you? I hate dogs. And those shrubs in the front are yours.
ME:Ok, we'll get those taken care of. We don't a dog - we have 2 cats. Other than that it's just us 3 and the one on the way.
B:( As she looks at my pregnant belly and shakes her head) I see that. You do know that this is an older neighborhood. They're aren't a lot of children.
ME: Thats ok( as my head starts spinning)
I'll spare you the rest of that conversation, but it doesn't get any better. A few weeks after we moved in, we lost our 2nd daughter ,Emma, to unknown reasons. As you can guess, we were crushed. Bob told everyone we were lazy because we did't plant flowers. What kind of people don't plant flowers? She wished we never bought the house if we couldn't keep up with the lawn work. Bob didn't know the older couple behind us LOVED us to death and told us what she was saying ( they've since passed away). Ahhh and it only gets better from there.............

Meet the A.

Why, hullo! I'm Annie. I live in Iowa. I just moved there a year ago with Randy ( the Hub) and Princess Grace ( our 2 yr old daughter). We are getting ready for a new baby girl( Faith) who is slow cookin' until sometime in July (hopefully). I think we're a pretty normal family. Randy and I met in 2000 at work. We started dating in 2002 and got engaged 2 months later ( when you know you know). 2 months after that we got me pregnant ( good fun by the way) and welcomed Miss Maria Grace into the world Via C-section 7 months later. 7 Months after that, R made am honest woman of me and here we are-living in a little house in Council Tuckey ( really Council Bluffs, but if you've ever been there, you'd get it) I swear a lot more than a normal person. My favorite word is F@*k. Do I think that cursing shows lack of imagination? No. When I'm pissed there isn't anything lacking. I've been know to have a redhead's temper (which I've passed along to Grace) - I tend to feel sorry for my husband more and more these days. I'm realizing that I'm actually an adult now. HOLY SHIT!! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?!? I'm fumbling my way thru it all, doing the best that I can. It's been an amusing ride thus far. So welcome to my ride. I'm glad you came by. Stop. Enjoy.Hell, make friends. Now, please keep all hands and feet inside .................