THE PEACE OF WILD THINGSWhen despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least soundin fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,I go and lie down where the wood drakerests in his beauty on the water, and the great The Peace of Wild Thingsheron feeds.I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethoughtof grief. I come into the presence of still water.And I feel above me the day-blind starswaiting with their light. For a timeI rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
— Wendell Berry
Last night I made Randy have a conversation with me that I know he would have rather not have had. We talked about death. A subject that he avoids like the plague. We have had this talk and it always goes the same way. Short answers to my question and no eye contact. Now, before you all go thinking I'm crazy, just hear me out. I used to work in Hospice. I've seen what happens when people have no idea what their love ones want and don't want to ask. Then it's too late and they're left to figure it out by themselves. I would never wish that on my husband. I also was VERY sick when I had Grace. At the time I couldn't figure out why and the hell no one would leave the hospital. Anyways, I just want to make sure my wishes are known in case anything would ever happen. I want to know his as well. We've tackled the life insurrance topic about 900 times now. All my doing. I just need to know that my family would be taken care of. And they will be. But we've never talked about where we wanted to be buried. If we are older and I kick the bucket - I don't care. Put me in the backyard. I just want to be next to Randy at some point( I've always told him I have to go first because I just CAN'T live without him). But if I'm younger and something happens I want to be buried with the rest of my family. I want him to go on with his life and remarry - my girls will need a mom. I'll be in heaven taking care of our baby Emma and hitting the Casinos with my Grandmothers and drinkin' some beer with my father in law, so move on. He wants to be buried in Texas, with his family. And I hope he would remarry. Besides, 3 is a crowd. I know he HATES when I make him talk about that stuff, but I think it's better to be safe than sorry. What do you guys think? Am I a freak for pushing the subject? Isn't it better to be safe than sorry? Is it really that bad that I find peace of mind in this?
p.s. DO YOUR LOVED ONES KNOW IF YOU'RE AN ORGAN DONOR????