Friday, August 05, 2005

The day the nut cracked.

I cracked today, kids. I let go and cried my little eyes out. I usually don't talk much about that stuff here. This is a happy place, a fun place. But it's my blog and I'm just me and this is the real deal.
I've been so stressed out lately it isn't even funny. I feel like a bad mom, a bad wife and a bad sister.
Here is what is in my pot: 8 pound baby that doesn't sleep & a stupid heart monitor
2 yr old that doesn't listen
A husband that has a stressful job and has the memory of small bug
The ungodly smell of cat urine in the bathroom ( found that fat orange cat pissed on rug)
A messy house and a shitload of laundry.
Went back to work this week
Bills, Bills and more bills.

So I cracked and I cried in front of my kids. Grace just came and hugged me and patted my back. She's a good egg even if she doesn't listen.

I feel better now.

* Not even 20 minutes after I originally posted this I found that Grace dumped a BRAND NEW BOTTLE of Little Tummy medicine all over the couch. Lord give me stregnth.

Guess she was done with her nap.


crazycrackergirl said...

Take some yoga! Get your fuck on! (with protection, of course.) I don't know how you & your husband do it all! I am kidless, and everyone keeps telling me i need some. Like i can get them at the store or something. You are very fortunate for everything you have. Nothing is more important than your family because there will come a day when you will need them more than you know.

Kurt said...

it'll be amazing what you'll remember in 20 years - probably all of this trouble and more! but it won't seem as crushing by then (hopefully) and will just be more threads in your individual tapestry.
Geez, I sound like an old person. Funny, I don't feel old. I just have a lot of memories...

Amy's Working said...

Nothing wrong with realizing you can't do it all, and deciding good enough is ok. And if all else fails, make yourself a good stiff drink, push the clothes off the couch, sit down and relax. Then laugh, it's really ok, and it's much easier to laugh at the chaos if you're good and drunk. Hope the weekend got better and you're feeling like you can conquer the world this week.

bigbadblondie said...

I know what you mean about trying to keep from getting sympathy from 2 yr olds. Back when I was still really crazy after losing Miranda, Seth saw me cry so many times that he would come up to me and give me a big hug and say "Mommy, no cry", which would abso-fuckin-lootely break my heart. He was only about 20 months at that time. Hang in there, girl. XOXO C