Sunday, September 25, 2005


No, nothing is wrong.
From what I'm picking up from some emails- CRY freaked some people out.
I'll explain this one more time.
What I was getting at is that before I started dating my husband, I went though hell.
But in the end - I won.
I don't have to listen to songs like that anymore.
I ended up where I was supposed to.

This song is kinda like our theme.
Never fear - We are fine.
Randy is my bestest friend in the whole wide world.
Besides, no one else would put up with my shit and no one else would put up with his.

What else can I tell you? Oh, I know !!!
I'm not pregnant.
I didn't mention that we had a scare. I kinda felt a little guilty. I didn't/don't want to be pregnant again.
At least not anytime soon.
I'm talking years, people.
A while back we had a condom break and I freaked out.
Randy and I have never had any trouble getting pregnant.
Hell, Grace was a birth control patch baby.
We stopped "prevention methods" right before Grace turned one.
On her 1st birthday we found out I was pregnant again.
Then I lost her. We waited until we got the green light to try again from the Dr's and were pregnant again right away.
It was important to both of us to have 2 kids close in age. I hope my daughters have the kind of relationship that me and my brother have and Randy and his cousin, Courtney have ( they're like brother and sister).

I don't think we can even wash our underwear together, people.
Randy's sperm is just that good.
So when we had our little "mishap" a week or so ago I FREAKED OUT.
I don't write down dates or anything, so I had no idea where I was at.
Don't get me wrong - I don't need the hate mail, I know how lucky we are to have 2 beautiful, healthy daughters.
Here's my point - My body doesn't do pregnancy well.
I've never gotten past 32 weeks.
NICU both times.
Then to top it off my husband had a dream that we did have a 3rd baby, a little boy, not long after Faith. In this dream she was just learning to walk when he brought the baby home.
That little boy and his sisters grew up without a mom because I didn't' make it the 3rd time around.
That dream scared the shit outta me.
Call me selfish, I can live with that. We do want another baby, just not anytime within the next 3 years.
I'm tired, my friends. I've done 3 pregnancies in 2 and a half years.
My body is screaming for R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y!!!!
We haven't decided if we'll adopt or if we'll go the same ol' route again.
I keep remembering this.....................
I'm not going to think about it right now.
I'm going to rejoice for once that the period fairy stopped at my house this month


Jack's Raging Mommy said...

I am freaking out that I am pregnant. The depo shot started working full on right away, so I haven't had any semblance of a period in a while. But I'm not supposed to, and I am pretty sure Depo is like 99.9 percent, so I am trying to not freak out. Yeah, right.

grody jo-dee said...

i totally sympathize with you. my body does not do pregnancy well, either. in fact, after this one, the dr. and specialist have firmly told me they DO NOT recommend me getting pregnant again. methinks the hubby will be getting the snippy snip so i don't have to freak out every month.