Tuesday, January 03, 2006

What's the point?

Every stupid December 31 I make resolutions. It's never just one - there's always like 4.
And by January 3 they're usually shot to shit.
This year was no exception.

Here was my dumbass list:
4. Seriously FOCUS on losing weight.

Just so you know - All of these we're broken by the 1st at around 6pm.

Then comes the guilt. I've totally been beating myself up over it for the last 3 days.

We're trying to get into a quit smoking program that's offered by the Med Center. They provide your patches at no coast, you get a counselor and they pay you for your time.
It all sounds like a good plan to me. Randy and I both tried going cold turkey and it was just a bad idea.
Not only that, but I ENJOY smoking. Really I do. HOWEVER, I enjoy my children and want to see them grow up and have kids so I can spoil them rotten.
ALSO- I found a wrinkle on my face.
Hello?!?! I'm 27 - I shouldn't have wrinkles yet!!
I'm blaming the smoke.
Do you think that's vain??

On to the Soda - Yeah, not gonna happen while I'm working overnights. I NEED DIET COKE.

FAST FOOD- I can control that one, not cut it out, but control it. Once a day is not acceptable. Not that I've been that bad, but it's been outta control.

LOSING WEIGHT - It's a never ending battle. I do really well then I fall off the wagon and getting back on just gets harder. See, my dear internets, I have no shame in telling you that I've been off the wagon since Thanksgiving. Things got stressful and I'm an emotional eater. However, I've been sick 3 or 4 different times since then and have just plain felt like shit. It's gonna suck but it has to be done.
Randy even put my Ab roller together for me this weekend so I need to start workin it!

As always, I'm just on a quest to be a better person. I'm trying to be nicer to the kids and Randy( not that I'm all that mean to the kids..... Randy isn't always so lucky). I need to spend more time with my Parents, Sister, Nephew, and Grandpa. I needed to be nicer to my youngest brother and remember that he is only 19 and I was a fuckstick,window licker at that age too. I need to write my oldest baby brother more and let him know that I love him. I need to tell my husband how lucky I am to have him and how I can never live without him. He is my soulmate.
I need to call friends that I haven't talked to in forever and make time for them. I need to learn how to do all of these things without feeling like I'm spred too thin (how I usually feel).

Wish me luck! That is if you're still reading since this has been the longest post EVER

Peace Out Bitches and Happy 2006!!!!!


MadHotMama said...

Your not vain. Just a woman. I'm only 23 and I check my face for wrinkles. Hang in there girl. You always get back on the wagon and you look great now anyways.

Webmiztris said...

I've read that New Year's is a bad time to make resolutions like to quit smoking because people almost always fail at that time.

I'm telling ya, read the book Allan Carr's "Easyway to Quit Smoking". I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's $15 well spent. By the time you're done with it, you won't even WANT to smoke anymore.

speckledpup said...

Vanity is allowed. It's part of renewal. You have to feel good about yourself and it's hard to do with a canyon running down your face. After three hellacious years in my life, I noticed a frown wrinkle on my forhead. I now smile as I plan how to make THIER lives a living hell.

Good luck on the smoking. I've never smoked. Patches work the best I hear from friends.

ON DIET COKE....why on earth would you give it up. It is the exlixir of life. The fountain of youth. The wellspring of all that is good.
Give up something worthless like chugging apple cider vinegar or drinking slim fast.

I do admire your thoughts on just being a better person. That really says it, doesn't it?
I just want to be me, but better.

cool thoughts, I'll be back
The Pup

Rude Cactus said...

Excelent use of "fuckstick"! 10 extra blogging bonus points ;-)

Retta said...

I'm 27 now too (just had a birthday) and I found some wrinkles this past year and bought my first jar of a *wrinkle reduction* face cream ~ add to that my grey hair (I've had grey hairs since I was 12!!!!!) damn I feel old! Well, I don't want to babble too much ~ so I'll say good luck with your remaining goals ;) and maybe give that quitting smoking another shot....I am on day one myself over here.

grody jo-dee said...

you just need to cut yourself some slack and go slowly. rome wasn't built in a day! if you are having a mickey d's kind of moment once a week--go ahead, just get a happy meal (smaller and still satisfying). as for the diet coke, well good luck sister....i have only been able to cut that out cold turkey when pregnant (do it for the babies!). what i do try to do is drink 16 oz of water for every can of diet coke. that way i know i'm at least getting some real hydration.
i have never smoked, but the hubby did when we met. he went cold turkey, but you would too if you had his mama. if she knew he smoked, the nagging would be like stabbing yourself slowly with a dull knife.
as you can see, i'm getting into the spirit with the longest comment ever....you will do just fine, and you're already not a fuckstick :)