Monday, May 22, 2006

Because I'm a freak like that.....

Dear Internets,
You've never steered me wrong before, so I'm laying it out there for you all once again. Let me know what you think....

So, does anyone else have people from their past that they wonder about? I'm talking about ex's here, people.
Well, I admit that I do. .
I've been lucky enough to where I still have pretty good friendships with my former boyfriends ( Thank God, there aren't that many).

I don't spend hours pondering on memory lane, but it does cross my mind every now and then. How are they? Are they happy? Has life been good to them? Those sort of things...
Well, there's really only 2 people I ever thought about like that. Both ex-fiance's( As we all know, Randy was lucky number 3).
One of them I've been in contact with for about the last 9 months ( seeing as he's still dating an old friend of mine). We all hang out every now and then.
And it's all good. I consider him a friend and I'm thankful for our past, because it helped me be the person I am today.
And the other ex, well, not so much.
A few weeks ago I had a dream about him outta the blue, which BTW led to this post.
I prayed that all was well in his life where ever he was.
But it all made me wonder.
Then unexpectedly this weekend I got my answer.
By freak accident I ran into him.
And I'm happy to report that he's married and a Daddy to 2 beautiful children
It made my little heart happy.
In a strange way it was almost like I found peace in it all.

When I told him I wondered how he was sometimes, he looked puzzled.
But really, he was such a huge part of my life from the time I was 18-22, I wondered how I COULDN'T ?!?!

We didn't talk long, but it was nice that I didn't hear " I hate you. Get the fuck away from me."
But, really, why should it matter?
What if he wasn't happy?
What if he would have said that?
Would I feel like shit?
Am I abnormal in that aspect?

It's not like I'm in love with these people anymore.
I could never EVER be as happy as I am with anyone, but Randy.

Regardless, I counted it as a blessing and I thanked God for it.
I'm so glad that all is well.
I mean, really.
I just want everyone happy.

Does that sound strange?
Dear Internets, what do you think?


Jack's Raging Mommy said...

You aren't strange, he's a man. That's really all there is to it.

Don't worry about it, just feel glad he's doing well and you can wonder a little less.

Sharpie said...

No, not strange - you wish well for people who have crossed your path. You are a good person. I, on the other hand, do not wish anything but a case of the crabs for my ex. lol.