Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Because I got high, because I got high, because I got HIGHHHHHHHHH


Hey! Remember me? Here I am. I know it's been awhile- sorry about that.

Let's get down to it, shall we?


Right after I posted last time I got a killer migrane from hell that lasted for a week.

A FUCKING WEEK- that's right.

I thought I was dying.

It was worse than haven't my body sliced open twice to remove 2 little red headed little girls without the epidural working ( turns out I'm immune to morphine).

Dr. FancyShoes ( as I like to call her) gave me Imitrex, and that only made my head feel like it was splitting open at the base of my skull.

Good Times.
I'm pretty sure I was as close to a raving bitch as one can get.

Finally caved in and went to the ER when I just couldn't do it anymore.

They gave me a shot of Stadol, which has been the only thing that has ever worked for me. AND it makes you feel drunk. I love it.

However, my good friend Stadol let me down this time ( little fucker).

20 minutes later, and feeling no better, I got some other shot.

It didn't work either.

Narcotics, to me, are kind of small bunch to pick from since I'm allergic to codeine. Even a little bit. and I'll decorate rooms in vomit. We all get the point, right?
Right.

30 minutes later they called in the big guns.

Demerol.
50 mg in the ass.

**Fokes, I gotta tell ya, if I ever get over my fear of sharp objects, and wanted to throw my life away to become a drug addict, Demerol would defiantly be my lover.


Feeling a little bit better ( pain had gone from a 9 to a 6), and 20 minutes later we were on our way home. I couldn't even smoke on the way cause I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. I wasn't sleeping - I WAS HIGH! I still tried to smoke anyway.

* Also keep your panties on. I know I said I was going to quit, and I am. I'm just not ready yet...I'll explain more later. Next post, k?


We got home and Randy started walking for the door and I just kinda stood in the driveway....trying to get my feet to work.

I thought it was all very fascinating

I. WAS. HIGH!!!

HIGH, I TELL YOU!!

ME!

Little Ms. Never went though a "drug phase" was high.


I made it to the couch, grunted a thank you at my sister for dropping everything and coming to watch the kids, and laid down. I felt like I was falling. I just never hit the ground. Randy put the girls to bed and went out and bought me a Ruben from Arby's. I was trying to watch what I ate, but I was too high to care. Pretty sure I scarfed that bad boy down, chasing it with a FAT Dr. Pepper( I only drink diet soda). I remember laying back down, watching South Park around 9pm. Next thing I know it's 3am and Randy is telling me it's time to go lay in bed.


I wasn't high in the morning, but good things never do last, do they? By mid-morning my migraine was gone, an there was peace in my head and my home.
And 3 very large bruises on my ass cheeks.

Shalom.

1 comment:

Firebrand said...

I'm so glad you feel better, but I gotta tell ya...sometimes the way you write makes me LMAO!! I ♥ Stadol...they mixed it with something else when I was in labor and that cocktail knocked my exhausted ass out! Had it before when I had an ovarian cyst...and that knocked my writhing-in-pain ass out, too. Glorious feeling to be able to relax when in pain, isn't it?