Thursday, November 30, 2006

A thin line between love and hate- My excuse- Thank you for smokng!!!

I've told you that I took a part time Hospice job, right?
7 months ago.

I take care a an 84 year old woman with lung cancer.
She still in her own apartment because they allow her to chain smoke.

Anyways, she's a retired math teacher.
No children of her own, divorced after 5 years.
She's always ran the show, never letting anyone else take control.

As, I mentioned before, I'm sure the cancer in in her brain now, because she'll flip at the drop of a hat.
All the other caregivers are quitting cause they can't take it anymore.
So, being nice, I filled in for a few shifts on my days off because this woman is absolutely AWFUL to new caregivers.
Seriously.

Anyway, about a month ago, she decide to bring in 2 new people who don't work for the registry that 3 of us do, therefore, avoiding the the hourly fee she'd have to pay on top of the hourly salary we get.

Since then things have gone to shit. Her pain meds have gone missing on 2 different occasions.
84 hydrocodone pills, and 2 bottles of Tylenol 3 ( codeine).
It's literally been a cluster fuck.
Turns out 1 of the girls had JUST GOTTEN OUT OF JAIL FOR DRUG CHARGES AND WAS AWAITING REHAB.
Well, she's gone now ( in rehab), but pills came up missing again over the weekend with the other person not with our registry.
So, I walked into hell Monday at 1pm.
At 1:30, her hospice nurse, the social worker, and her power of attorney all walked in to have a "walk with Jesus talk".
It went badly.
We all have an idea of where the pills are going, but can't prove it.
Long story short - she almost PUNCHED OUT her hospice nurse.
No, I'm not kidding.

So, guess who was left smack dab in the middle of HELL when they all left.
That's right, little 'ol me.
To make matters worse - I was there for a 20 hour shift ( 1p - 9a the next morning)
Ugh.
To make it EVEN MORE worse, I lived with the knowledge that I would be back 5 hours after I left for yet another 8 hour shift.
So, when 9am rolls around, and my relief comes, my fav other caregiver, and I tell her what has all gone down, she tells me she's done.
She won't be coming back.
Fuck.
Somehow I agree to work her overnight shift that evening.
So instead of working 2-10, as I planned, I was coming back 2p-9a.
I knew it would be trouble.


So, I rush off to a root canal appt. that I had @ 10a.
That lasted until 12:15.
Had just enough time to run to Barnes an Nobble to get Sleeping with the Fishes, and run home for a much needed shower, and go back.

UGH!!!!!

I knew I was in for a LOOOOOOOONG shift when 20 minutes later she ORDER me out of the room so she could make a phone call, and said, in her nastiest mean little old lady voice, " and don't you DARE go into the other room and pick up the phone and listen!!"

Yeah, cause I do that kinda thing. UGH!

I asked her when had I EVER done that to her (????) and went outside to avoid accusation.

She was NASTY to me the rest of the night.

I was public enemy #1.

The hospice Chaplin came to visit with her around 3p, and she told him that : 1. us younger girls were " hypersensitive, and over react to her voice tone" and it must be because of the "generation gap". 2. It's the hospice nurses fault that her pills go missing ( did I mention that she accused HER of taking the missing pills??? Uh, yeah. Her nurse is 6 months pregnant. Must be growin' a little narc addict). 3. She was *PROUD* she acted like she was going to hit the nurse. She'll " always go to bat for my caregivers!!! DON'T YOU DARE ACCUSE THEM!!! Which, BTW, he nurse NEVER did. WE just kinda put 2 and 2 together).

Needless to say, I was walking on eggshells until about 5am, when she decided she loved "me sooo much".

Shit. She'd better!!! I've been with her since the beginning and am the only one who hasn't quit because of her nastiness.
And because she smokes like a chimney.
Spending 39 hours with her over the last 2 days, I see that it's far more than the 3 packs a day than I thought.

*SIGH*
But what can I do? I've promised myself I would stay with her until the end, but I'm seeing that there is a thin line between love and hate with her.
And I hate never knowing what side I'll be on when I walk in the door..

The money isn't even worth it half the time.
This, my friends, is my long, lame-ass excuses for still smoking.

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