A picture is worth a thousand words.................
I'd love to show you pictures from my birthday party, however, our 3 yr old lost our camera, so " No Soup for You!".
I spent 3 hours and $ 40.00 on my hair.
I wore the Adias gear.
Take pride in knowing that, at one point,I had a pair of panties that was a present from one of my friends, on top of my head, as well as a pink feathery terra.
I did come to one conclusion.I will not be doing this next year.
We've been doing the SAME EXACT thing for my birthday since I was 21, and I've come to realize that it's gotten stale.
And a little boring.
And I hate being hung over.
I hate worrying if everyone is getting along ( and then I get phone calls the next morning that so and so was soooo pissed")
I feel like I did a horrible job at playing hostess.
We we're crammed into a little space, so we couldn't all sit together.
So many things were just " blah", ya know?
I love that so many of my friends were there.
Some took the night off from work just for me, and I'm grateful.
But I'm shallow, and I spent part of last night crying because I didn't get a card from my mother-in-law, or my parents.
I'm so lame
Next year, I'll settle fora "un-rushed" dinner, then maybe a movie.
Why do I fell bitchy for writing this?
Eh, don't care.
Period fairy came to town and has brought me an extra special treat this time around.
So, I don't have any idea what to wear to my party.
My friends said, " Hey, you should dress up!"
To which I replied, " I'm not a girly girl..Thinking of wearin' my new Adidas sweatshirt"
Now, I'm contemplating.
Maybe it would be nice if I tried to look like a girl.
After all, I am going to get my hair and makeup "did".
I'll let you know.
Right now, I have to go poop.
This is where all my WW points went today..And it was damn good, too!
The nutritional value is ridiculous( it's 530 calories, 17 grams of fat, but no dietary fiber = 13 points outta my 24), but it's Friday, so I don't give a F.U.C.K!!!
AND, I had this
Planning on having this
Remember, when I said I wasn't going to talk about it? Apparently, I lied.
I'm a big fat liar.
Back on the WW wagon today..So, Kelis inspired me
Others may know it as Bossy
, but I changed it up a little
Enjoy.I'm a FATTY
I'm the first girl to scream for a steak
I switched up for some pineapple bake
Yeah, that's right, Milkshakes bring my ass the yard
And that's right, i'm the one that's lickin on his arm.
Cause I'm a fatty
I'm a bitch that loves to eat
I'm the chick that's demandin' the steak
I told ya'll it's been 20 minutes since i ate
Someday I might hit 808.
I'm a fatty.
I'm the first one in line at da buffet
I switch it up one to Heinz 58
I'm the who there licking the plate
Never weighted 108
Never switch from licking the plate
Cause I'm fat!!
Oooh. Lemme sit down right here all nice and slow
Trying not to break the table, yo ( Table yo)
Got 3 pounds of lime jello, yo ( Jello yo)
Oooh. Fat chicks don't look cool on da flo.
Betcha never seen a muffin top like dis before (dis before)
You know I rock size 24 (24).
Oooh. Give me da taste like I been looking for.
I dont' ride no bicycle, Wanna popcicle ( popcicle)
Ooh, for my BBW up in CB.
712 can ya feel me.
Man, I really feel like some ice cream( Ice CREAMMMMM)
Hang some pop tarts from da celing, and yous gonna see me jumping
Candy in my mouth - uh -Hamburgers on the grill
Candy in my mouth - uh - Hamburgers on the grill
Cause I'm a fatty....I'm the first one in line at da buffet
I'm the whos dare licking the plate
Never weighted no effin 108
Never switch from licking the plate
Cause I'm fat!!
It's bout time right now dat she lickin' me
Can't stop starin, she's fat, yeah, but she's pretty
Damn girl, don't hurt em!
Don't put ya fork down , you gotta work em
Puttin' plates down,
They know your background
What chu want girl, you gettin mad now.
That's how you do it, huh?
Ice Cream machine aint's workin' huh?
Well I'm the skinny one
In fact, it's me bringin her to the food
Tell that man you's a fatty
Make some noise, raise your plate if you's a fatty
I don't think he understand you's a fatty
Get some help if you need help with a patty
She ain't lost none
Ain't no refunds, she ate the cash mayne
In your benz, sticky buns, in the fast lane
Flossin, you say "how much it cost me?"
How 'bout some gummy bears, playa, she's a fatty
Uh uh... watch the french fries
Uh uh... watch the cream pies
Uh uh... watch the waiter sigh
Uh uh... watch my husband cry
Uh uh... all you can eat buffet
Uh uh... hit it every day
Uh uh....skittles comin' out to play
CAUSE I'M FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FYI : I do not wear a size 24, just so we're all clear
For all the the Bitches in my Getto...... Like R Kelly says, " Fiesta, FIESTA!!!!"
My Birthday party is THIS SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!
Where: Moe & Curly's
, 108th and Maple, by the DMV.
When: My fantastically amazing self, as well as my better half, will be there by 8pm, after we go for a pre-fiesta drink @ the Mai Tai ( everyone is welcome to that, as well)
Gifts /Cards are expected( not really)
Good times will be had!!!
I will be drinking "Adult Beverages", however, I will not be getting DEU-RUNK. Drunk, Maybe, but not sloppy drunk. It hurts way too much at my old decrepit age
For everyone else - Pictures will be uploaded Sunday. Still feel free to send me Gift's/ Cards/ Gift Cards, though ( I'm a fucking riot, aren't I???).
"Little miss apprehensive, said Oooooh..She fell in love"
Yes, I'm in love.
But it's not what you think....She's beautiful...
Let's all keep our fingers crossed, ok?
We weren't really looking.
Our house isn't even on the market.
But we saw it on HomeView
, while we were flipping though TV stations, and it just so happened that there was an open house the next day.
It's in a small town, but only 20 minutes away from where we are now.
I cried when we were walking through it( Granted, I cry when it rains outside, or...well, I'm just a crier, people, but still.) It's BEAUTIFUL.
Grace didn't want to leave...I don't blame her.What do you guys think?
I don't have a picture of the stained glass front door, but you can see the wrap around porch, and some other pic's.
I suppose it would be nice if I updated
I'll just do what I can to sum up the last 2 weeks
In hopes to irritate my husband, I answer all his questions with " My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..........." It works. He gets irritated.
I then walk around and tell people " Hi, I like cheese!!!" ...Maybe you had to be there.
Randy's Grandfather died
Grace decided she was potty trained.
She started pre-school.
I cried like a baby.
She's totally the shit with her big ass Dora backpack.
The woman I do hospice care for has become increasingly demanding. She's pissed I can't provide 24 hour a day care for her.
Now, when I am there she likes to scream at me...then tell me how much she loves me. I think the cancer has attacked her brain.
Randy had a dream that I left him for a 16 year old that wrote his own wedding vows and gave me a bigger ring. He woke me up @ 3am to make sure I wasn't going anywhere.
Faith, in all her 16 month glory, FIANLLY said mama.
I turned 28 on the 13th.
I got just what I wanted- A clean house.
AND my Brother, Sister ( in law), and nephew sent me flowers, balloons, and candy.
Grace ate the box of candy while hiding under the kitchen table.
My birthday party isn't until the 23rd.
I've gained 12 pounds in the last week.
Thought maybe I was knocked up.
We took a test ( well, Randy was there, but I'm the one who pissed on the strip)
He asked if I was dissapointed.
My response: " Fuck no!"
Although, I do want a baby, just not " home grown" at this point.
I went to the Doctor yesterday.
I have some weird viral infections that causes horrible headaches and makes my arms feel like they're falling off.
And makes you gain weight.
I'm on sick leave from work until Tuesday.
I'm starting Weight Watchers again, but I'm not going to take about it, ok? That seems to be the kiss of death.
Checked my email to find that one of my friends has a tumor in her spine. Keep her in your prayers, ok? C, I love you. I feel like we've been though a lot, you and I. Our Hospice work, and all of the things that come with that, the loss of our babies, the birth of babies, and now this. I wish I could make it all better.
Got a notification in the mail that there is a balloon release
the 1st of October. Even though we lost Emma over 2 years ago, we're still going. There's a guilt that comes along with that. If we had Emma, we wouldn't have Faith. Regardless, she was our child and we're going.
I tried to color my hair a darker color of red cause I'm tired of people asking me " Where do your girls get their red hair from?"
I look like a fucking cartoon.
Grace is now sleeping on a mattress in her bedroom. She broke her bed...and her face by jumping, flying, and have her Dora house break her fall. We told her she's just going to have to deal with not having a bed. We didn't tell her her new bed is being delivered tomorrow.
*We put her broken bed on the curb @ 5pm....it was gone by 5:15pm...you gotta love our town.
AND LASTLY- WALMART IS DOING AWAY WITH LAYAWAY. CRAP!!!!
WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO HIDE THE PRESENTS? * Getto-fied, yes I'm a Walmart shopper!*
It's never-ending fun on my end!
So, what's been up with you guys?
Do you ever?
Do you ever catch yourself having some crazy, random conversation, and think," Gee, if people really knew what we talked about, they would totally think we're nuts!"
If I was a smart woman, Like K
, ( who by the way, has a AWESOME new haircut) and had to do it all over, I would totally tell you what these conversations are, however, too many of my " real life people" read this.
Next lifetime, no one will know of my blog, so I will be able to bring the stories of farting, masturbation, string cheese( not linked AT ALL to the word before it), and Slimfast.
You're missing out.
So, did anyone else catch the VMA's last night?
Was it just me. or did P!NK look super PISSED
when she won best female POP artist?
I don't blame her.
She soooooo isn't " POP'
I love P!NK.
Although, her new hair, ICK!
I told you I was shallow
Baby Boom Boom/ Bum Bum
Grace told me she wants a baby brother.
She's planning on calling him Boom Boom.
Yesterday, she was going to name him Bum Bum.
It's a daily thing, now." Mommy, I want a brother" " I know you do, sweetie, but it's going to be a while. Besides, what if you get a sister?"" Ummmm, no. I want a brother."
We have a few years to change her mind. I'm not getting pregnant again for a few years.