Thursday, August 02, 2007

I can not even tell you how happy I am that this is now on Cable

Monty's Mom: So I called your house today, at two. You were still asleep, weren't you?

Monty: That's an understatement.

Monty's Mom: So what did you do last night? I trust my little angel didn't do anything immoral. Monty: Well, ummm... Let's see. I started by getting completely hammered drunk. It was bad. Then drove, while intoxicated, to pick up this disease-infested hooker.

Monty's Mom: Uh huh...

Monty: From there... uh, let's see. Me and the hooker went back to my place...

Monty's Mom: The hooker and I.

Monty: Excuse me. The hooker and I went back to my place and from there... God, it was just a blur of intravenous drug abuse and unprotected sex, while taking the Lord's name in vain. Monty's Mom: Dean, did you know that when Monty was a child everyone thought he was retarded?

Monty: Dean, doesn't my mom look old? I mean, much older than she rightfully should?

Monty's Mom: So why aren't you and Serena still together? I liked her.

Monty: I don't know. I guess it got old. We had a relationship based on orgasms.

Monty's Mom: Oh, how charming. You are being safe aren't you? I don't think I could handle the idea of you reproducing.

Monty: Come on, mom! Of course I'm being safe. I pull out.

Monty's Mom: Yes, well your father pulled out too but we've all seen the tragic end of that story.

Monty: You think I wanna have kids? Absolutely not! That's why I stick to anal sex.
Monty's Mom: If only I had been so lucky.

1 comment:

cari said...

i LOVE this movie... i think ryan reynolds is one of the hottest men on the planet!