Tuesday, August 13, 2013

 I'm just a woman who's life took a turn that she didn't see coming. It happens to everyone, right? 3 years ago I would have never imagined that I would be where I am now. But now it seems like things are getting better, more clear. As a little girl all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a wife and a mother. It almost seems like since I failed at the first of those, I've become an even better mother. Does that make sense? Maybe I'm overcompensating. Kinda like, " Well you fucked up the first one, you better be awesome at the second one." So, I do my best. My kids are my absolute world. EVERYTHING I do, I do for them. They are the very reason I breathe. Every single day I tell them I love them more than anything. And I'm so blessed. They amaze me every single day. At times I almost don't feel worthy.
 My oldest started the 5th grade today, and my baby girl started 2nd grade. They looked so grown up this morning, and sooooo excited. It made my heart happy. I knew that I did the right thing by not moving so they could stay in the same school. I felt they needed some sort of normality though all the other changes. Kids are resilient, but they are breakable.
My oldest daughter is now seeing a councilor. Last night her and I had a session, and it was pretty awesome. I'm sorry I didn't have her do this sooner. The councilor and I met alone for about 20 minutes, and I was shocked that she seemed to have situation figured out without me saying anything.  Next week her session is with her father, and I hope he finds it as insightful as I did. I just want those kids happy. I pray for that every single day. Just as I pray that their father finds the happiness that he never found with me. Happy parents = happy munchkins.

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