Thursday, August 15, 2013

The Great Divide

Nothing about divorce is fun. Like, at all. One of the worst aspects has been the picking of the sides. When it came down to friends whoever stayed stayed. I never wanted anyone to pick sides. When it came down to family....ugh...where do you start? I always felt close to the X's Mom. She's a wonderful lady. At times I felt she was more understanding than my own parents. The last REAL convo I had with her was in December of 2011, when shit hit the fan. She told me I would always be her daughter, and she would always love me. I never reached out to her after that because I didn't think it was appropriate. She's his Mom, and of course, and I didn't feel right putting her in the middle.

Monday was her birthday, and I texted her in the morning, telling her I loved her and that I would have the kids call her after dinner. She didn't respond, but I didn't expect her to. My son fell asleep around 6, but the girls called and left a vm. After an hour I tried again, and then tried her home phone, and they where able to talk to her. My 8 yr old handed me the phone when she was done, and I talked to her for about 2 minutes. I felt the conversation was kinda frosty. And that my friends, sucks ass. NEVER ONCE have I talked poorly about her son to her, and I wouldn't. He may be grown, but that's still her kid.

And really, that's neither here nor there. It doesn't matter now. All I'm saying is that there are 2 sides, and you're never gonna know the whole truth, bc he and I both have our own versions. I just miss her. She was my mom for 11 years, too.

It's sad to see pictures of my niece and nephews online. Kids you've watch grow since they where in diapers and they're now in high school. Or the 2 youngest who have known me as their Aunt all along. Where is the line drawn? Am I just supposed to act like they're random kids now? I don't know. Or my nieces and nephews who sometimes ask about their Uncle...He's been around their whole lives. I wish I had the answers. Before mine, I knew nothing of divorce, really. My younger brother divorced his wife, but we're still close. You don't give me a sister and then take her away 10 years later. She will always be my sister, as well as the X's sister, and now my brother's future wife. I just love them all. Once you're in my circle it's hard to get out. I wish there was a rule book for this shit.

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